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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Memory.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: words_can_heal
    ASL Info:    22 Female
    Elite Ratio:    3.56 - 79/111/22
    Words: 144
    Class/Type: Misc/Alone
    Total Views: 892
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 863



    Description:
       Wrote it about 3 years ago.
    Very close to my heart.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Memory.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's faded and I can't always retrieve it.
    It's been buried, so I don't always believe it.
    But I know it's there.

    It comes sometimes and I can't help but cry.
    It makes me wonder about it and question why.
    But I know there isn't an answer.

    I wish it didn't affect me but it does.
    I wish it didn't make me crave so much love.
    But I know it does, and I know no-one will love me like I need them to.

    Sometimes I think it will fade till its gone away.
    Sometimes I hope that that day will be today.
    But I know that it will never ever leave me.

    Its in my memory.
    It's in my mind.
    It's in my heart.
    The memory itself consumes my memory.
    This is what my life has become.




    Submitted on 2004-11-14 21:53:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Well, I had some problems following the rythm some places, but still, it was emotional and straight forward, not much covered up or hidden messages. That can be very nice to read sometimes. Just plain emotions, that one can feel inside and relate to.

    Nice that you seperate your poems in such short and well put-together sentences.
    It makes it a comfortable read.
    Good work!
    | Posted on 2006-08-25 00:00:00 | by ChrystalR | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a good poem that gives the reader a good sense of the author. It follows in line with much of the classic, angsty ones, and it's nice to see that kind of poem in here.

    I wish it didn't affect me but it does.
    I wish it didn't make me crave so much love.
    But I know it does, and I know no-one will love me like I need them to.

    That makes me remember when it happened to me. I've had heartbreak before, but I acted like it was okay and I tried to push it to the farthest parts of my heart, just to get it to go away. I like that line.

    Its in my memory.
    It's in my mind.
    It's in my heart.
    The memory itself consumes my memory.
    This is what my life has become.

    I've had that too. It was there for almost four months, that longing feeling. Then, it finally went away. It took some time, but I got over it.

    This is a very good poem, I congratulate you.
    | Posted on 2004-11-14 00:00:00 | by Maki Kyomada | [ Reply to This ]
      Very emotional and heartfelt poem, this one... it lacked a bit of flow in the start, but after that it was all good. This poem, to me, is interesting as it poses many unanswered questions... like what was the memory? What caused you to wish it would go away? What happened? However, I thought it would've been better if you gave like a clue or something on what happened... But we know that it is about love, in one way or another, as you have written: "I wish it didn't make me crave so much love.", "I know no one will love me like I need them to." Your word choice was also good... especially the first stanza, that really caught my attention. Well-written!
    | Posted on 2004-11-14 00:00:00 | by zhi wei | [ Reply to This ]
      I really do like it, and I guess I can understand not putting in what exact memory you're trying to evade. It does make it easier for others to relate to in that they can think about it and relate it to their own memories, and it wasn't really about the thing itself but the process of trying to get rid of it. So if you're trying to get rid of it you don't explain it in the poem. Even so, I am also curious about it. maybe if you right about what happened in another poem?
    | Posted on 2004-11-14 00:00:00 | by srcastic1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I think some of the lines need trimming, but overall, i think it is a pretty nice write. especially the line where you say that that day. It just doesn't flow.
    | Posted on 2004-11-14 00:00:00 | by solararia | [ Reply to This ]
      this poem seemed very emotional... i felt as though i was listening to a song or something that someone was humming in their head while trying to go to sleep... very mythodical... and such. this is very beautiful, and slightly said, like a trinkle of rain dripping from a leaf. Very good...
    | Posted on 2004-11-14 00:00:00 | by Grey Eyes | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree, nice write. Your short sentences really do make this poem good. I am just curious to what your memory is..

    You may be making a fan out of me :)
    | Posted on 2004-11-14 00:00:00 | by hollowshell | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't know exactly what this poem is about... but I like it. It seems to mean a lot with a few short sentences.
    You're a very good writer, keep it up!
    | Posted on 2004-11-14 00:00:00 | by psycho_1 | [ Reply to This ]


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