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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: my friend miserydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: besodemuerte
    ASL Info:    31/f/pa
    Elite Ratio:    5.83 - 242/253/27
    Words: 65
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1942
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 452



    Description:
       this poem was inspired by a friend and i, because we are always miserable and i asked him to give me a topic to write about and he told me , my fiend misery... i think i want to try and make it longer, but i'm not quite sure what to do about it... and if you have any title suggestions, i'll take them... thanx!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmy friend miserydots
    -------------------------------------------


    If misery loves company
    then why aren't you here?
    to hold me real close;
    wipe away all my tears.

    My sadness extends
    past the bowels of hell.
    So the demons cried
    and the fires fell.

    Oh, sweet misery!
    My bitter friend.
    You'll always be there
    in the end.

    I just need you
    alone with me.
    My sweet, my love,
    my misery.




    Submitted on 2004-11-15 11:25:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The imagery is a little cliché and the rhyming is just so terribly bland.

    You could have done with a better topic.

    Try to make your writing stand out from the crowd and think of depth.

    Youve scratched the surface of an idea,now expand,think of a way to say these things,then re-think,then read and say to yourself,does this do my thoughts justice? Did I really want to say something or did I just feel obligated to write a poem for elite skills.

    For inspiration on expanding:



    Good luck with the writing

    -Craig
    | Posted on 2009-02-20 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]
      I am a fan of your interpertation of misery and the form it takes. I love short, sweet and to the point poetry. I can see you are a skilled writer, in style, flow, and cleverness you get a A+

    LoVeIt!


    Singlerose:)
    | Posted on 2006-03-07 00:00:00 | by SingleRose | [ Reply to This ]
      I see I've commented on this poem once before but since it's such a good poem I thought I'd comment again...
    Did I add this to my Favorites list? If not I will now... keep up the good work my friend!

    -p1
    | Posted on 2005-11-20 00:00:00 | by psycho_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm i sinced a little sarcasim... and it worked.

    i enjoyed the stanza where you stated it goes past the bowels of hell and the fires fly down.. misery finds those who loathe company.. but be careful what you wish for.. misery may not be what you looking for, which i know that you dont so i understand completly your thoughts.. good job
    | Posted on 2005-08-17 00:00:00 | by daniel05 | [ Reply to This ]
      interesting idea, but misery and being its friend isn't that original in general. So who is misery, and does he have bad teeth?
    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by pearlfog | [ Reply to This ]
      misery definately loves company. I can attest to that too. I have always felt that some of my greatest pieces were spawned from misery. Sometimes the greatest writers are the ones that come from it. Keep up the writing. You are very talented.
    melanie
    | Posted on 2005-07-06 00:00:00 | by laniejane | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a pretty cool poem beso! I agree with what everyone else has said about this too, and I think you are a very talented writer! Keep up the GR8 work, keep on writing!

    -Melissa
    | Posted on 2005-03-31 00:00:00 | by psycho_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Pretty good poem, My kind of writting style. I seen you fell on my page and I had to check out your poems. I'm glad I did because this was a good one and it's going on my fav.
    | Posted on 2005-03-16 00:00:00 | by jermwerm | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like this piece. its simple and yet so profound. i like the length of this as well. i think the length is sort of symbolism. with friends its so hard to say sometimes what it is that attracts you to them. i feel that you put into words nicely and with great flow exactly that feeling.
    | Posted on 2005-02-08 00:00:00 | by stolie77 | [ Reply to This ]
      well, i've heard the personification of misery before, but it's still an interesting topic. before i go into the "overall assesment" i'd just like to do one little detail- the ironic play on words in the opening lines.
    "if misery loves loves company, then why aren't you here?"
    that's the coolest part. it could mean so mayn things it makes my head stop. without the personification of misery, it could mean that miserable people are drawn to each other instead of the common "miserable people want to make other people miserable." with the personification, it could mean that misery itself wants to be with people...but it isn't/ Why isn't it, then? Does misery not love company? that makes sense. but since you're obviously miserable, what does that mean? does that mean misery is there and you can't see it so you can't shake it? God, there's too many things to say and they all make sense.

    Overall, i'd say it's good. the last stanzas are simplistic in construction, but convey the bitter-sweet addicted-to-depression kind of thing and are sad yet beautiful... (well, a tragedy must be beautiful, otherwise...its a comedy).

    ok so cool.
    | Posted on 2005-01-14 00:00:00 | by lukewarm | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't think it need be any longer. Quite good on it’s own. Standing there, w/ it’s lunch pail… He’s a big boi now.
    ~#6-
    | Posted on 2004-11-16 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      lol i luv ur pic. n-e wayz this poem i'm sure every can understand, so it matters how it is written. THis poem is a very well written, poem yet the only critique that i may have is use bigger words to somewhat throw off the reader- i myself may use big words a little too much lol, but sometimes it don't hurt to throw the reader off so that they canmake their own judgement and relation to the poem.
    i enjoyed ur poem, can't wait to read more of them.
    | Posted on 2004-11-15 00:00:00 | by dannyshyboy | [ Reply to This ]
      very interesting...its a bit short, and some extra stanzas would be great to get your point across even more...its a great poem tho and very relatable...i would rite more but im at school and i gotta go..so ill rite more later...but all in all great.
    | Posted on 2004-11-15 00:00:00 | by eternaldarkness | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the idea of misery being something physical which you can be alone with etc. I think that this doesn't need to be any longer because it would lose the impact that short poems give. I think you did well with this, because I can never write things if I'm given a set title. Happy writing for the future!
    | Posted on 2004-11-15 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it. i really like the second verse. again, sometimes it feels like you try really hard to rhyme and it sort of takes away from it. good job though <3
    | Posted on 2005-01-07 00:00:00 | by Lemmy | [ Reply to This ]
      Misery tends to be my friend as well. I really lked this, just because of the fact that everyone can relate one time or another.
    Thanks for the comment on Whiskey, when I sobered up I revised it, took some of your suggestions and what have you. I hope you get a chance to re-read it!
    -Andrya
    | Posted on 2004-11-28 00:00:00 | by andrya | [ Reply to This ]


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