Description: this poem was inspired by a friend and i, because we are always miserable and i asked him to give me a topic to write about and he told me , my fiend misery... i think i want to try and make it longer, but i'm not quite sure what to do about it... and if you have any title suggestions, i'll take them... thanx!
my friend misery -------------------------------------------
If misery loves company
then why aren't you here?
to hold me real close;
wipe away all my tears.
My sadness extends
past the bowels of hell.
So the demons cried
and the fires fell.
Oh, sweet misery!
My bitter friend.
You'll always be there
in the end.
I just need you
alone with me.
My sweet, my love,
The imagery is a little cliché and the rhyming is just so terribly bland.
You could have done with a better topic.
Try to make your writing stand out from the crowd and think of depth.
Youve scratched the surface of an idea,now expand,think of a way to say these things,then re-think,then read and say to yourself,does this do my thoughts justice? Did I really want to say something or did I just feel obligated to write a poem for elite skills.
i enjoyed the stanza where you stated it goes past the bowels of hell and the fires fly down.. misery finds those who loathe company.. but be careful what you wish for.. misery may not be what you looking for, which i know that you dont so i understand completly your thoughts.. good job
misery definately loves company. I can attest to that too. I have always felt that some of my greatest pieces were spawned from misery. Sometimes the greatest writers are the ones that come from it. Keep up the writing. You are very talented. melanie
i really like this piece. its simple and yet so profound. i like the length of this as well. i think the length is sort of symbolism. with friends its so hard to say sometimes what it is that attracts you to them. i feel that you put into words nicely and with great flow exactly that feeling.
well, i've heard the personification of misery before, but it's still an interesting topic. before i go into the "overall assesment" i'd just like to do one little detail- the ironic play on words in the opening lines. "if misery loves loves company, then why aren't you here?" that's the coolest part. it could mean so mayn things it makes my head stop. without the personification of misery, it could mean that miserable people are drawn to each other instead of the common "miserable people want to make other people miserable." with the personification, it could mean that misery itself wants to be with people...but it isn't/ Why isn't it, then? Does misery not love company? that makes sense. but since you're obviously miserable, what does that mean? does that mean misery is there and you can't see it so you can't shake it? God, there's too many things to say and they all make sense.
Overall, i'd say it's good. the last stanzas are simplistic in construction, but convey the bitter-sweet addicted-to-depression kind of thing and are sad yet beautiful... (well, a tragedy must be beautiful, otherwise...its a comedy).
lol i luv ur pic. n-e wayz this poem i'm sure every can understand, so it matters how it is written. THis poem is a very well written, poem yet the only critique that i may have is use bigger words to somewhat throw off the reader- i myself may use big words a little too much lol, but sometimes it don't hurt to throw the reader off so that they canmake their own judgement and relation to the poem. i enjoyed ur poem, can't wait to read more of them.
very interesting...its a bit short, and some extra stanzas would be great to get your point across even more...its a great poem tho and very relatable...i would rite more but im at school and i gotta go..so ill rite more later...but all in all great.
I like the idea of misery being something physical which you can be alone with etc. I think that this doesn't need to be any longer because it would lose the impact that short poems give. I think you did well with this, because I can never write things if I'm given a set title. Happy writing for the future!
Misery tends to be my friend as well. I really lked this, just because of the fact that everyone can relate one time or another. Thanks for the comment on Whiskey, when I sobered up I revised it, took some of your suggestions and what have you. I hope you get a chance to re-read it! -Andrya