Description: This is the revised version of my song, Falling. I added some things, I took some things out, and I just wanted to see what you thought of it. If you haven't read the original version of Falling, I suggest you read it first, then comment on either one. I'm just curious to see what version you like better. (And for all the people who pointed out my typo, it's fixed, and it's in capital letters so you can see that I fixed it. Are you happy now?)
I'm laying my head on down to rest
I was beaten even though I tried my best
Guess I can't always be number one
But coming IN last never is any fun
I'm falling
as I'm fading away
I'm falling
Away from the light of day
Chorus:
I'm falling into this big black hole
Falling away from everything I used to know
I can't stop falling
Away from this world and into my own
I'm falling
As I'm fading away
I'm falling
Yeah I'm falling
My head is down my eyes are closed
To you I just look asleep
I'm not sleeping I'm day dreaming
I am only half awake
I'm falling
As I'm fading away
I'm falling
Away from the light of day
Chorus
I'm surrounded by so many different things
I'm an angel yet I have no wings
But I'm up in the sky trying to fly
But I can't fly cause I don't have wings
So I'm falling
As I'm fading away
I'm falling
Away from the light of day
Chorus
I'm a wingless angel
That's falling to the ground
I'm a falling angel
That has every reason to frown
And I'm falling
As I'm fading away
I'm falling
I'm falling
As I'm fading away
I'm falling
Away from the light of day
I am falling.
For crying out fricken loud, I see the typo. God, does everyone and their dog have to point it out? I GET IT. God almighty. People make mistakes when they're typing, and a lot of the times, I catch my typos, that one I missed, so chillax! I bet you've had typos before.
This sounds like it would be a really good song. If you ever put it to music or anything let me know. I love music. Its my life. Well keep up the good work.
I actually think that if you fixed the line in the first stanza to read But coming in last never is any fun And then replaced the first stanza in the original with the first stanza here , then the original would be a winner.
Submission Name: Falling (Revised)
