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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Throwndots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rocknpoetrychik
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 331/281/44
    Words: 60
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 986
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 372



    Description:
       I wrote this to accompany a drawing I made for my boyfriend's room... it was written all around the drawing.. I thought it fit the way the woman looked and how I feel sometimes... love is so great yet it lays on a dormant volcano that can ruin everything in a second


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThrowndots
    -------------------------------------------


    I sleep then dream I am a flower picked by my lover
    "She loves me, she loves me not"
    He continues till I am only my stem and pollen
    Consumed by mere fingers plucking the right petals
    How metaphoric is my euphoric dream!?!
    "She loves me!"
    Then I am tossed to the ground, petals and all
    A massacre of love




    Submitted on 2004-11-16 01:36:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Again, great. I love the meaning behind it. I love every line individually, I loved it as a whole. I am so excited to read more. Keep it up!
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by SorrowfulMind | [ Reply to This ]
      I too thought this was wonderful. the images and the personifcation of yourself as a flower and love massacred. wow. how the poor flower must feel! very nice work!
    | Posted on 2005-03-27 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      What I see here is that the surrender of ourselves as a sensual partner is a little like dying, we risk a death knowing we will materialize in the same space as our lover. Maybe even that the death allows us into the same place. Thanks for sharing. peace, nansofast
    | Posted on 2004-11-18 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed the concept you used in this piece. It was a very original and creative one. Writing from the viewpoint of the flower which is only the sybolic representation of the object of his love, stripped bare and discarded, taken for granted. Love the concept. I really feel that you're communicating the complexity of love and how many different feelings and emotions can be stirred up in losing yourself to some one. This piece made me think a lot more than many others i have read, and i like that in a poem. I particularly like these lines.

    '"She loves me!"
    Then I am tossed to the ground, petals and all
    A massacre of love'

    Thanx for your words.

    =Jimma=
    | Posted on 2004-11-16 00:00:00 | by Jimma | [ Reply to This ]
      I sleep then dream I am a flower picked by my lover
    "She loves me, she loves me not"
    He continues till I am only my stem and pollen
    Consumed by mere fingers plucking the right petals
    How metaphoric is my euphoric dream!?!
    "She loves me!"
    Then I am tossed to the ground, petals and all
    A massacre of love

    Interesting, to say the least.

    I was expecting something a little more on the "romantic" side, but this is somewhat, unsure?

    I don't know. Different strokes for different folks but this doesn't scream "I love you" in my humble opinion.

    That doesn't mean it's not an interesting piece, however.

    Take care,
    Rob
    | Posted on 2004-11-16 00:00:00 | by Me Rambling | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh i love this ...How beautiful ....And sad...And true ...It just flowed all the way through and had a soft innocence about it .....I didnt think this was unsure at all ...I think it was a pretty true description of love

    Good Job
    Blessed Be
    | Posted on 2005-03-07 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]


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