Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Paranoiadots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: elephantasia
    ASL Info:    37/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 398/490/160
    Words: 41
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 792
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 351



    Description:
       
    Please review cos not sure about this


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsParanoiadots
    -------------------------------------------


    One thought, Many angles,
    sharp pointed, rotated,
    heart strung; contorted.
    Sickness; gut twisted.
    Black; coloured; distorted.
    White noise, eyes blinded,
    Sound mind is aborted
    Sanity short circuited,
    con-fuses are shorted
    Iím drown-ed in my head.
    from one paranoid thought.




    Submitted on 2004-11-16 16:47:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      your poem...confusing at first, but when put in the context of a paranoia theme you do then realise that when paranoid you dont think straight do you , it all multi thoughts, rapid thinking and a tangled web. then i read your poem again and it make so much more sense. i guess then you start to realise that things cannot be taken at face value...the deeper significance
    | Posted on 2004-11-22 00:00:00 | by frank bazaya | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it, I'm not really sure how to nit-pick it though, its hard to find those things just cause of the nature of the piece...I mean it was really good, just hard to condemn because of how and what its written about I enjoyed it quite a much...and being as paranoid as I am, can understand and relate...*what was that* I better go...good write

    ~Anarius~
    | Posted on 2004-11-16 00:00:00 | by Anarius | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    32924

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    new moon written by CrypticBard
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    untitled written by Chelebel
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Wavelength written by saartha
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Bond written by saartha
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    This written by Chelebel
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Push written by JanePlane
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry