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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Paranoiadots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: elephantasia
    ASL Info:    37/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 398/490/159
    Words: 41
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 788
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 351



    Description:
       
    Please review cos not sure about this


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsParanoiadots
    -------------------------------------------


    One thought, Many angles,
    sharp pointed, rotated,
    heart strung; contorted.
    Sickness; gut twisted.
    Black; coloured; distorted.
    White noise, eyes blinded,
    Sound mind is aborted
    Sanity short circuited,
    con-fuses are shorted
    Iím drown-ed in my head.
    from one paranoid thought.




    Submitted on 2004-11-16 16:47:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      your poem...confusing at first, but when put in the context of a paranoia theme you do then realise that when paranoid you dont think straight do you , it all multi thoughts, rapid thinking and a tangled web. then i read your poem again and it make so much more sense. i guess then you start to realise that things cannot be taken at face value...the deeper significance
    | Posted on 2004-11-22 00:00:00 | by frank bazaya | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it, I'm not really sure how to nit-pick it though, its hard to find those things just cause of the nature of the piece...I mean it was really good, just hard to condemn because of how and what its written about I enjoyed it quite a much...and being as paranoid as I am, can understand and relate...*what was that* I better go...good write

    ~Anarius~
    | Posted on 2004-11-16 00:00:00 | by Anarius | [ Reply to This ]


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