there were some lines in this piece that i loved, "I've dreamt so much that I can't sleep" for instance, but some things that irked me were that your rhyme scheme seemed skewed. you didn't rhyme at all the first two stanzas, but the last three you formed a pattern. that was probably intentional and that's fine. and the second line just didn't sit well with me...even though i'm sure you figured it was a good metaphore. i liked it on a whole and i think the message is good. this person didn't treat you well and you didn't tolerate it anymore. good job.
seems like it came straight from the heart ! Your poems seems simple but true. I can endorse your views since I have been feelig the same about my relationship, too. As for guidelines, I feel as if you have or had lost the sense of reality. Or atleast that is the expression on gets on the start of poem. A differant diction would have made it more evident.
THe poem did go sideways rather than forward. THe lines in the first stanza were good as was the third. the rhyming was as aliciaflower04 said went off a little. like a spliced poem added to another. themes were very well developed throughout but the stanzas need to link to each to each other better.
The tone of your poem came acros well. Flowed well mostly, but some lines threw it out in meter. I would like to see this re thpught about and re-written as I fell it can be more than it is. Rhyming needs to be worked on.