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In Question


Author: Suven7
ASL Info:    20 female Fla
Elite Ratio:    7.08 - 478 /260 /47
Words: 33
Class/Type: Poetry /Dark
Total Views: 1005
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 223



Description:


An excerp from a poem I found tonight that I had written- along with a journal entry. In reading these words again, emotions awaken with such underestimated force as I could never remember during that time.


In Question



Where will we go tomorrow
The future's shrouded in a great shadow
Anytime, the light might fade
These shadows do not provide a safe shade
They hinder us-
...blocking us from the rest.




Submitted on 2004-11-17 00:14:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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5: Wow!




Comments


  Wow. Short and sweet. So much said in such little words. I could really feel a flow. Not from stanza to stanza, but word to word. Then again, there is only one stanza. A very to the point poem. Not to many out there. Too many are writing on and on about what was already established. I would like to read this entire poem some day. You did say it was only a bit of one, correct. If so, put the entire piece up. The rhyme scheme was a little funky, but overall I liked it alot.
~Monty
| Posted on 2004-11-17 00:00:00 | by Deep_Monty | [ Reply to This ]
  These shadows do not provide a safe shade...
Very interesting. Short, I must admit, but interesting. Shadows... lies we hide in? false security and comforts? The meaning is vague but it implies much. It is a warning to not rely on what you can see by light and shadow for they are 'blocking us from the rest'. The rest of what? I am assuming the rest of the world, of life, of truth- all that we can't see. I would love to see the rest of this... if you would be so kind. It remains intruiging to my mind.
-Ari
| Posted on 2004-11-30 00:00:00 | by Ari Leukos | [ Reply to This ]
  i'm not sure what you''re trying to say here. well i am, just not sure if it's effective. it's 6am i can't be bothered to explain. i felt the last line was clumsy 'blocking us from the rest', 'the rest' should be replaced.
| Posted on 2004-11-17 00:00:00 | by wilderness | [ Reply to This ]
  Shadows are what hide us , and posibly shade us from life, hiding all the bad, but also hiding all the good, so ewe are stuck in a world of nothingness, never feeling, or never wanting to feel, forever a cycle of being alone, not sure if that's what you meant but that's what I received from the poem. YOu also touch on the light and dark contrast, you begin to say ohw the light comes so wuickly , but can vanish even faster, never letting you have a chance to move out of your shadow into the dark. I think the poem that you have written here is beautiful, way to short, There are at least two ideas that you could elaberate and tie better together in a longer peice, you have the imagery and feeling though, and that is what makes it an amanzing peice. I think that adding puncutation, would slow it down and add a better more reflective and feeling filled feel to it, but other than that an amazing peice. I can't really tell you my favorite part because I liked it all, I hope one day you might extend it, but until then thatnks for the post, and take care.
much love
kaity
| Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by Kaitylizzy | [ Reply to This ]


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