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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Wardots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jimma
    ASL Info:    22/m/Melb Aust
    Elite Ratio:    4.75 - 217/234/54
    Words: 131
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 872
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1023



    Description:
       I don't understand the fact that a war is won and a leader is reveared when he is the one who is willing to have more of his people die to win the war. Maybe i miss the whole point of war. Dunno. Let me know what you think of this piece.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWardots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sitting here
    A broken soldier
    Caked with mud
    Laced with death
    Faced with life
    With nothing left
    Inside

    Trenches dug
    In mind
    And mud
    Heavy footed
    Can't confront
    Don't want to look
    At the consequences
    Of what we've done

    I fail to see
    The difference between
    My brothers
    And the men I kill
    Different skin
    A different will
    Different insignia adorn
    Our helmets
    And our uniforms
    Different medals
    Pinned to our chest
    By different gods
    We may be blessed
    But we're all human
    After all

    No matter what happens
    If we win or we lose
    When the battle is over
    We won't get to choose
    We all must live here
    Live together still
    Live with the consequences
    Of a group decided will
    Which, individually,
    All opposed.




    Submitted on 2004-11-17 06:52:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      awsome! This is one of the truer and more emotional war poems that I've read in a great while. unfortunantally too many things are seen as black and white but I appriciate how you point out the grey. I loved the stanza that went: Trenches dug
    In mind
    And mud
    Heavy footed
    Can't confront
    Don't want to look
    At the consequences
    Of what we've done

    it parallels my personal experiances to varying degrees. it's good to see this kind of work comming from civillians, it's reassuring that some do understand us (soldiers)
    | Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by cainboy | [ Reply to This ]
      This was an interesting approach to war from a non-soldier point of view. Having served as a soldier once, I can say the underlying motives for fighting and winning have more to do with not dying and getting your comrades back safely, than what the reason for going to war may be.

    When you have some other person shooting at you with the sole intention of killing you first, you have a choice to make. Either you kill him first or let him kill you. This fact seems irrelevant to many these days.

    When I was growing up, the totalitarian regimes of communism were the ideological foes. Now we face Islamic extremists (dubbed terrorists.)

    There is always someone who hates you more than you can avoid. When you cannot avoid a fight, you better be ready to win. Get used to it. War defines human history.

    General George S. Patton (World War II fame)had it right. He once said, "No dumb [censored] ever won a war by dying for his country. He won by making the other dumb [censored] die for his country."

    That is the reality of war.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts with this write.
    | Posted on 2004-11-17 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      can't agree with the other commenter that war is something unavoidable. but we're not here to break loose a philosophical debate. so back to the poem itself. my favourite part were the lines

    Trenches dug
    In mind
    And mud

    great. it fits so perfectly. but I would slightly change your first stanza. the last lines "with nothing/ inside" doesn't feel right to me. I don't like the 'with' there. cause this word inplies that there's something you have. I would just leave it out. isn't needed.
    the third stanza is a bit confusing. first you say you can't see a difference but then enumerate some. I know what you want to do here but it doesn't really work. put the "I fail to see/The difference between/My brothers/And the men I kill" before "We may be blessed". is clearer.
    but it's a really good poem. well done.
    | Posted on 2004-11-17 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      well i have to agree there is nice emotion here - i like the fact that this topic was seen from a different vantage point...

    working with the military as a contractor and actually visiting iraq and afghanistan in recent months - i have to ask myself some of the things u do

    war is something that is man made - inmy opinon

    I dont think u missed the point of war when coming from a family point of view - or the soldiers that are serving- not the politicians that sit in their plush offices and decided who goes and stays

    i think u captured it right - alot of men and women who look a lil differnt and pray a lil different - who have been told to hate each other through generations of conditioning...

    thanks for this piece it was nice food for thought..
    | Posted on 2004-11-17 00:00:00 | by nicegurlintx | [ Reply to This ]


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