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    dots Submission Name: paindots

    Author: runaway_poet
    ASL Info:    21/m/limbo
    Elite Ratio:    6.2 - 42/41/21
    Words: 199
    Class/Type: Poetry/Alone
    Total Views: 940
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1165

       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?

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    Danerous times and dangerous places

    peircing eyes and hate filled faces

    slipping time missing places

    covers me with your weary laces

    so i try to drink it away

    the pain wont leave why does it stay

    is it karma have i wronged is the the way,the way i have to pay

    i have tried everything once i even tries to pray

    but the wounds wont the they will only stay

    time is my enemy reality me noose

    i cannot defeat time...perhaps a truce

    silence engulfs all around

    erie it is having no sound

    then the question comes to surface the thout starts to pound

    why am i here has the answer been found?

    reality hits be ands a fall for the ground

    and my soul makes a whine like the whine of a hound

    and then i was abducted and taken hostage by reality where i was alone gagged and bound

    and is left me in my mind for the where im never to be found

    where im left here in silense alone with no sound

    Submitted on 2004-11-17 10:50:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      interesting a little to much um maybe rhyme scheme great topic try a little more thought with imagery and you will have people reading and writing exceptional comments no bad intents made just a thoughtsandman
    | Posted on 2004-11-17 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      To many misspellings. Great content though. Rhyme and rythmn is good. I kinda feel like I'm listening to an Irish man though. Was that your purpose? If so, you did well.
    | Posted on 2004-11-17 00:00:00 | by lora | [ Reply to This ]

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