Description: What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?
pain -------------------------------------------
Danerous times and dangerous places
peircing eyes and hate filled faces
slipping time missing places
covers me with your weary laces
so i try to drink it away
the pain wont leave why does it stay
is it karma have i wronged is the the way,the way i have to pay
i have tried everything once i even tries to pray
but the wounds wont the they will only stay
time is my enemy reality me noose
i cannot defeat time...perhaps a truce
silence engulfs all around
erie it is having no sound
then the question comes to surface the thout starts to pound
why am i here has the answer been found?
reality hits be ands a fall for the ground
and my soul makes a whine like the whine of a hound
and then i was abducted and taken hostage by reality where i was alone gagged and bound
and is left me in my mind for the where im never to be found
interesting a little to much um maybe rhyme scheme great topic try a little more thought with imagery and you will have people reading and writing exceptional comments no bad intents made just a thoughtsandman
To many misspellings. Great content though. Rhyme and rythmn is good. I kinda feel like I'm listening to an Irish man though. Was that your purpose? If so, you did well. -Lora
Submission Name: pain
