i love the way that you made this sound. the words that you put together. i love it. but i feel like some of the things you write...i believe that you could write so much more. so much more talent hiding. maybe if you wrote more, more people could understand what the meaning of the piece is and where the writer(you) is coming from. nive job.
you definitely have a way with words even though most of your poems are just short verses. they are still very effective and I think would be nice in a book of one after the other in the right order. then they would become a group of thoughts and beautiful ones at that. nice work.
This is so very beautiful, so much said and evoked with so few words. perfect minimalism, like an extended haiku almost. The entire efect of the words circling the air, has a soft surreal quality-like smoke rings-expanding ever outward and becoming part of a whole. His soft whispers find a warm heart waiting to shelter them forever. Lovely, Silver
simply put and beautiful. i don't know why you don't label your stuff poetry, 'cause that's what it is! i love it, 'cause it's so short and to the point. i hate it when people say it's not enough or that it's too short. if i had intended for it to be longer, i would've written it that way, no? keep writing this short little gems. you're good at it!
Hey there. Overall I love this. Its simple and to the point. Which is great. The only thing I might change would be the formatting. Doing so might add to the flow. Just a suggestion. Anyhoo...much love to ya.
As you were lying there listening to his soft whispers and letting peace fill your empty void of your heart, were you thinking of what to order on the pizza like every other woman, or how the day will stretch so you can make both sales in two different towns? Just wondering! That seems to be the norm. A great write, I guess I've read between the lines too much then.
Aw, this is so sweet it's like eating a whole wedding cake in one bite. I like it a lot. Blah, "longer" and "add punctuation" sound familiar. I think it's great as it is.
its short and sugary sweet. no really its beautiful. its a warm moment between lovers, and that so wonderful to capture. its feels like im floating on a cloud. i like it. i had wished that you had used proper grammer and puncutation marks. the poem itself expresses love in a true form so don't do an injustice by expressing it in improper form. this piece is heartfelt and passionate. "lingering on in breathless splendor." that was so beautiful. please keep it up.
I think it sounds like the end of a longer piece. What you wrote is good but its just not enough.Tell more about the person who speaks the words and how you feel towards them that would allow their words a place in your heart.Its like ten second sex; orgasmed and quit.It needs to be built up before you finish.
This is great work, I can find no fault. Every word has a reason for being and draws me into it's message. I have an idea too that the poem actually begins with..
your words circle the air and quietly find eternal peace in the softness of my heart lingering on in breathless splendor.
It makes the vibration of the poem different, I think. Just thought I'd send it, anyway. It's a lovely work, just as it is. Nan
Very pretty and it feels and sounds equally great. One idea, don't know if you'll like it, instead of finding eternal peace, maybe eternal rest, because there would be the double entendre there, rest as in repose, and rest as in sitting in your heart. Thanks for sharing this, Dave
Submission Name: Whisper to me
