Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Fallen Angel

Author: Dollface
ASL Info:    18-f-AK
Elite Ratio:    3.47 - 15 /18 /7
Words: 191
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1718
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1164


This came from a bad break up... sometimes you just gotta vent...

Fallen Angel

Like a fallen angel with broken wings
He dropped her from the sky
Crying black tears of bleeding mascara
Only now she wonders why
Only one dream she dreamt tonight
I watched it creep above her head
Memories of pain and sorrow
Crying alone at night in her bed
I watched him grab her 'round the waist
Kissing her neck as if he never wanted them to part
I watched him whisper sweet nothings
As he silently stole her heart
Once he had her where he wanted
Holding her up for all the world to see
He took her heart and soul so blind
and dropped them in pieces at her knees
My eyes gazed down and admired
as she picked up her broken treasure
She took some strength and a little bit of hope
and made herself better then ever
That was the outside
Never showing behind that wall of greatness
The scars of failed love
and how she trusted less
In an instant my total view changed
For that fallen angel I see
Is someone so familiar and dear
the angel with the broken wings... is me

Submitted on 2004-11-17 14:13:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  I liked it, reminded me of similar situations. Good job, i'v found that you write the best when your emotional, the words just some so fast. But it's kinda sad that someone else has the power to make that happen.
| Posted on 2005-02-21 00:00:00 | by borkenbuterfly | [ Reply to This ]
  OMG. This sounds like so many of my poems wrapped up into one superb one. I just haven't ever been able to...convey my thoughts so fully as this. Wow. Wow. And again, freaking wow.
| Posted on 2004-11-17 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
  I love the visual imagery you use in this poem, especially when you are talking about the angel falling from heaven. This is one of three poems that are done in a free format that I like. Actually, I'm going to add it to my favorites.

| Posted on 2005-02-21 00:00:00 | by Raistlin Sith | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?