Revelation
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Description:
This was written when I still really believed in the power of love.
Revelation
In a moment I realized that love isn't just acrobatic hearts or parting long-sealed lips or dancing whispers floating into anticipating ears or chemicals that spark inevitable desire and it's intimate results In that moment I realized that love is emotions playing tag splashing in puddles of tears drained from the spirits or the perpetually confused to struggle with imperfections and all of what may never be and the fingers of two destined souls interlaced through it all. |
Submitted on 2004-11-17 15:42:15 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| Such a distressing viewpoint on love... but one I share alot of the time... it put to words a feeling that I get much of the time... especially: "emotions playing tag splashing in puddles of tears drained from the spirits or the perpetually confused" and "to struggle with imperfections and all of what may never be" | Posted on 2005-01-24 00:00:00 | by jer | [ Reply to This ] | You have some good metaphors here, Painting an accurate picture of what love is, and isn't. But there is something missing and I can't put my finger on it. Possibly that each stanza is one long continuous sentence. I think there has to be breaks in order for the reader to pause and absorb what they have just read. I think there is a very good poem here, just some little touch-ups. | Nice work. | Posted on 2004-11-28 00:00:00 | by arkay | [ Reply to This ] | |
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