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Revelation


Author: Luckyduck
ASL Info:    19/f
Elite Ratio:    3.74 - 89 /76 /12
Words: 80
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1107
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 621



Description:


This was written when I still really believed in the power of love.


Revelation



In a moment I realized
that love isn't just acrobatic hearts or
parting long-sealed lips
or dancing whispers
floating into anticipating ears
or chemicals that spark
inevitable desire and
it's intimate results

In that moment I realized
that love is
emotions playing tag
splashing in puddles of tears
drained from the spirits
or the perpetually confused
to struggle with imperfections
and all of what may never be
and the fingers of
two destined souls
interlaced through it all.




Submitted on 2004-11-17 15:42:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Such a distressing viewpoint on love... but one I share alot of the time... it put to words a feeling that I get much of the time... especially:

"emotions playing tag
splashing in puddles of tears
drained from the spirits
or the perpetually confused"

and

"to struggle with imperfections
and all of what may never be"
| Posted on 2005-01-24 00:00:00 | by jer | [ Reply to This ]
  You have some good metaphors here, Painting an accurate picture of what love is, and isn't. But there is something missing and I can't put my finger on it. Possibly that each stanza is one long continuous sentence. I think there has to be breaks in order for the reader to pause and absorb what they have just read. I think there is a very good poem here, just some little touch-ups.
Nice work.
| Posted on 2004-11-28 00:00:00 | by arkay | [ Reply to This ]


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