It still gives me chills to this day. The word choice is odd, and very dramatic. How else would you write something of this nature, though? Over-dramatics can be the only way to express last minute regret and sorrow...and love to someone that only has such a short amount of time to understand you. It describes something very vividly to me, obviously. But in all honesty, I prefer this line: "A dead tree stole his shadow as if to rob his existence piece by piece." because that's the only part that took me a second to comprehend. I think we all like being challenged on some playing field and you are quite good at that. Now if only you could turn that talent toward yourself.
Can you please explain this to me so I can read it over with understanding! I liked the title. But for some reason I... just couldn't "get it" I will read this over and then give you a real comment later if you explain it! Take care!
This was really sad but very well written. Someone already said this but it gave me the chills too, the only way I can describe how it made me feel was like I was at a funeral. Great write
i like this... how in your summary you challenge the reader to make it their own and so really... its not about what you wrote/meant/felt when you wrote it but the state that the reader is in as they read it which determines what the poem is to them... it is very hard to be able to write something well (like this one!) and leave room for the reader to put their spin on it... ive got all kindsa senario's going on at the mo... but it doesnt matter which one i go with... theyre all sad... realy sad but know that this is awesomely well written!
This allows the readers mind to wonder into different situations in life, hauntingly reminding myself of a love lost, taken all of a sudden and the grief attached to it. "a whisper on soft wind"..spiritual "but i loved you", very nicely done. Thank you for sharing this work.
The word choice seems a bit odd to me, a little too dramatic. I can't make too much sense of the poem as a whole either, but that seems intentional seeing the description that goes along with it. What it means to me, perhaps that love is a contradiction? I'm not too sure though, but people can end up doing strange things out of love :)
This poem gave me the chills. It had me imagining all kinds of different things. First I was thinking of the setting being in some sort of ghost town and then I thought of and Indian reservation. It is a very "spiritual" peice. I thought it was very well written! *Amanda*
Submission Name: But I loved you
