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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hidingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/Alone
    Total Views: 715
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 746



    Description:
       Please tell me if you like my poems. I'm really looking for feedback, positive or negative, it doesn't matter as long as its honest.
    I know that there's a lot of suicide thought in here but don't worry. I write to release my sufferings.
    Thanks, Christina age:16


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHidingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Why do they hate me?
    I'm asking myself.
    Do you really think,
    I'm keeping you from wealth?
    Sometimes i scream,
    And i dont know why.
    All the time I feel,
    Like I'm about to cry.
    I keep hiding in the darkness,
    Crawling back into the dirt.
    I just want to die,
    Just wnat to throw out the hurt.
    I know it won't happen,
    And you know it too.
    Sometimes I just,
    Well, I don't know what to do.
    Maybe its the things they say,
    That make me want to die.
    Maybe its why,
    I always want to lie.
    To lie about the hurt,
    To lie about the pain.
    I just hope,
    This never happens again.




    Submitted on 2004-11-18 13:48:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I started to read your submissions and decided to read them one at a time. I have experienced what you have written to a certain degree. You have an odd way of expressing your emotions but I like it. I am looking forward to reading the rest of your work in the near future.
    | Posted on 2005-05-24 00:00:00 | by Haywud Jablome | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmmm this was a great poem, most of the rhyming was cool. unforced. and yes i like your poem, you got a great style! yeah there are a lot of suicides on this site, once i thought i'd read all of em, but failed miserably! but this one's different. and i like it! the only part where i think i was stuck was the line "I'm keeping you from wealth?", well to be true that sounded like forced rhyming. well thats just me. but the rest of the poem was supercool! well hope to see you around!

    Zu
    | Posted on 2004-12-07 00:00:00 | by Zu | [ Reply to This ]
      1st line: Why do they hate me?
    Why do people ever hate anyone over?
    JEALOUSY. Never let what people say or think of you get in the way of your happiness. I mean some people spend so much time focusing their negative energy on one person then their all depressed when they realize they don't have a life! Good write! & Take care!
    | Posted on 2004-11-18 00:00:00 | by devonbracy | [ Reply to This ]
      I also liked this poem, Its seems like your talking about the voices in your head, if not, please correct me. I like how you articulated your emotion. I look foward to reading more from you, keep writing, and hope you check out some of my stuff, enjoyed the write, take care.
    | Posted on 2004-11-18 00:00:00 | by matt73 | [ Reply to This ]
      i think this i a really great peom good emotion and i think it is written well it is strate to the point and i could relate to it i really like this one and i will look at more of yours
    | Posted on 2004-11-18 00:00:00 | by robbie | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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