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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Immortal Passiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Crimsonpathways
    Elite Ratio:    5.88 - 202/232/57
    Words: 96
    Class/Type: Poetry/Vampire
    Total Views: 990
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 825



    Description:
       Wow, just...wow. Nothing really to say on this one. I was influenced as I very commenly am as I scroll through all you other people's poetry. This is a siring, a vampire siring. These are not my emotions, no I am not in love. I will tell you all if I am, but I am not. So just see if you like it...I was trying to go in a less, descriptive way...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsImmortal Passiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Breath you,
    Take me,
    Slow down,
    Wait up.

    Touch you,
    Kiss me,
    Awake,
    I am dreaming.

    Testing you,
    Seduce me,
    Love bound,
    Heart set.

    Fangs deep,
    Pierce me,
    Hold on,
    Breathe!

    Held by you,
    Saving me,
    Kissing life,
    In to my veins.

    Breathing deep,
    Struggling too,
    Just to live,
    Help me!

    Please you,
    Faze me,
    Blood hazing,
    My eyes.

    My nails,
    Scratch you,
    Wanting more,
    Of your love.

    Moonlit,
    Candles burn,
    Flames of life,
    Flicker in me.

    I shall live,
    Not to die,
    Immortality,
    Given to me.




    Submitted on 2004-11-18 15:13:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow... this is... fast and very... deep. I want to grab onto some random guy's manly neck with my nails now, clenching him for life... muahaha... and now I'm lonely... oh well. It was... awesome. Seemed suspenseful, kept me reading. Another great poem.
    | Posted on 2005-01-12 00:00:00 | by poetofthenight | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice. I love when vampires are presented in a passionate way, as opposed to a horrific way...because they're not scary...but I'm fascinated by the whole "I thrive on the taste of your blood" thing. Though I'm not into all that gothic stuff, I do find vampires to be quite interesting, as well as this poem. I'm adding it to my favorites..
    -brandy
    | Posted on 2004-11-18 00:00:00 | by w0rdz_0f_wizd0m | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok this is a really awesome piece and I really liked reading it. Since you were trying to go in a less descriptive way... all I can say about that is that you suceeded and in fact did a good job. The only thing I didn't really get was the whole love factor, it seemed more to me like a simple siring with little love involved.. lust might be a better word choice.
    -Alli
    | Posted on 2004-11-18 00:00:00 | by Childoutspoken | [ Reply to This ]
      omg.. this is great.. like i'm watching a vamp give immortality to the one he loves.. like they could never be without each other.. *tear* this is great.. so guess what that means.. muhahaha.. another fav.. damn your getting good at this..
    Adam
    | Posted on 2004-11-18 00:00:00 | by Pyrosis | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the imagery! I could see the whole seen. Although im not sure if i wanted to. Very good job. My favourite line was "Moonlit,
    Candles burn,
    Flames of life,
    Flicker in me."
    Good Job. I could tell that you felt very strongly about what you were writing about. You really layed your heart on your sleeve on this one.
    | Posted on 2004-11-18 00:00:00 | by Lostlover | [ Reply to This ]
      Fangs deep,
    Pierce me,
    Hold on,
    Breathe!

    OMFG! This was...wow...so short, but all the better for it. I liked that stanza the best, its like being bit by a vamp and recording all the emotions and thoughts that flicker in and out of your mind. I really loved it! Man, wanna add it to my faves, but cant, mite get confused with those ones I needa work on putting into a book...damn...my vampiric work never measures up to this, possibly not even my series! Wow...*speachless*

    ->Dark
    | Posted on 2004-11-27 00:00:00 | by drk_angl_17 | [ Reply to This ]


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