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Break Me


Author: Luckyduck
ASL Info:    19/f
Elite Ratio:    3.74 - 89 /76 /12
Words: 100
Class/Type: Poetry /You left me
Total Views: 1572
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 728



Description:


I dated a guy for a few years, and this is how I feared it would turn out. Unfortunately, I was right. He did break me.


Break Me



Your naivety astounds me
You know so little
but you love so much
It's charming, really
I know you'll break me eventually
Drop me, like any other man would
But right now all I ask
Is that you harbor my weary heart
in the blissful twilight of your soul
We'll dance together
in tender synchronicity
Until you grow restless
and long for the beat
of some Jezebel's drum
And you'll retreat
into your simple oblivion
with innocence as your shield
And I'll emerge
Not better or worse off
for having loved you
Just a little more weathered
and equally lonesome.




Submitted on 2004-11-18 17:06:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  wow, this is a great poem, it was deep and intellectual. ive been in this place before, and this description is right ontop of the line, i don't have any critiques about this poem- or tha ti can think of at this moment for it is a great poem.
| Posted on 2004-11-18 00:00:00 | by dannyshyboy | [ Reply to This ]
  I like this one, not your typical heartbreak poem, but one that really portrays the reality of it being a series of great moments and then a sudden seemingly inevitable drifting apart. Believe me, I've been there, and it really hurt. I think you portrayed that really well.
| Posted on 2004-11-18 00:00:00 | by srcastic1 | [ Reply to This ]
  i really like this, it has a depressing truth in it, it had my attention through the whole poem, grrt write, it made me want to read more..keep it up!
| Posted on 2004-11-18 00:00:00 | by poetsoul | [ Reply to This ]
  Well written. A said story really, inevitable release from fulfillment. I thought you articulated your thoughts in this piece beautifully, although I think you lose your inoncence when you love another, but if im wrong, please tell me. Overall this poem was very well written, and I look foward to reading more of your poetry, thank you for sharing, keep writing and take care.
| Posted on 2004-11-18 00:00:00 | by matt73 | [ Reply to This ]
  Nice piece. Isn't it amazing how we always know when we're going to get hurt, yet we let ourselves do it anyway? I'm the same way. I really liked the line, "...until you grow restless and long for the beat of some Jezebel's drum."
-brandy
| Posted on 2004-11-18 00:00:00 | by w0rdz_0f_wizd0m | [ Reply to This ]


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