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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Harbinger of Delightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: arkay
    ASL Info:    50+/m/Atl.Can
    Elite Ratio:    4.84 - 450/320/56
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 865
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 949



    Description:
       I already know that it's much too wordy, but I had all these words that had to be spent.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHarbinger of Delightdots
    -------------------------------------------



    This lustful harbinger of delight
    Seldom seen but presence felt.
    Painting pictures in the night.
    Luring unwary with sensuous pelt.

    Sharing whispers with those that might,
    Intoning ditties of deeds undone.
    Chancing encounter with those in flight
    Enchanting pleasures to be begun.

    Woeful strangers taken to bear,
    Erotic wonders should they stay.
    Listless maidens they would bare,
    Forgetting homestead along the way.

    Frivolous femmes to fall from grace.
    Unsteady mothers, willing to please,
    Taken askance while hiding a face.
    Treasures forbidden are found with ease.

    All that is dear, his fodder makes
    Twisting endearments from minds sight.
    Enticing always, from the weak he takes
    So all beware this lustful might.

    This lustful harbinger of delight





    Submitted on 2004-11-19 07:38:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Well written, a good grasp of rhyme and meter for certain. Diction is period from a bygone time, but probably intentional. The message is interesting, really just a hint of bawdy, enough to get Pete going anyway!
    Nice work,
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      Maybe this piece could be called wordy, but you seem to have a balance between the lines, and the rhyme came off well. I particularly like:
    "Sharing whispers with those that might,
    Intoning ditties of deeds undone.
    Chancing encounter with those in flight
    Enchanting pleasures to be begun."
    I agree its hard to tell the meaning; seems like this lady has brought about some mixed feelings; weak and fallen from grace, yet greatly desired.
    Kinda confuserating. :blink;
    But overall, a good not-too-wordy read. :D
    | Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      It's not that wordy. Some times i'm affraid to put anything over eighty words of poem on this site lest someone not read it. Your poem for the most part flowed with ease to read and I dont think the meaning was lost on me. Good poem.
    | Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by vvv | [ Reply to This ]
      sounds quite delectable,I have a bit of a problem with it's seeming chauvanism though.Can you elaborate on the meaning?
    | Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by weepingwillow | [ Reply to This ]


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