Sex 101 by The Black Rose

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Submission Name: Sex 101 dots

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Author:	The Black Rose
Elite Ratio:	3.17 - 116/111/31
Words:	125

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	951
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	815

Description:
Just how I was feeling at the moment.

Sex 101

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Come explore the depths of my love
be one with me
no reason or rhyme
free from restraints of time
gliding in ecstacy

Hold me in your eyes
stroke my hair to the rhythm of you
filling my every need
exceeding fantasy no falacy
Indeed I'll show you my gratitude

Slowly descend to my valley
teasing so gently
before I scream move toward my lips
grabbing my hips
reapply your love to my sweetness

Hearts racing, motions steady
it soon quickens
on and on and on and on
our body's stiffen
an explosion of warmth inside me

Kiss my shoulder
rollover,get up and get me a sandwich!!

Submitted on 2004-11-19 12:18:49 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  hahahaha!!!!! omg i like this.it's all like lovely deep sex moment except fot the last line.that made it funny and i love funny like that.it's great , didn't notice anything bad and don't wanna check for bad stuff.it's good yay!!!!!

kh
| Posted on 2007-03-06 00:00:00 | by every48seconds | [ Reply to This ]
  that was good but the last line ruined the rythme of the piece.. hope to see more from ya.. good write.. very intense also..
| Posted on 2004-12-07 00:00:00 | by AnointedPoetess | [ Reply to This ]
  lol a nice poem. very romantic in a sense of talking about the favorite part of romance between a couple. the last line is a definite vice of having a "good" relationship great piece
| Posted on 2004-11-24 00:00:00 | by dylanpoe | [ Reply to This ]
  I, too, wonder where it would have went if you hadn't changed it at the last line... If you decide to elaborate on this piece and go more with the romantic route, please do PM chrono and I...
| Posted on 2004-11-20 00:00:00 | by MerryDeath | [ Reply to This ]
  Big twist..huge twist..but great twist. The whole sandwich part was a perfect ending. It is done in real life...quickies or such. Such a complex poem is so good because you drag it out..you be descriptive while not going oveer the top. Very good..
~Samantha
| Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by His Lost Angel | [ Reply to This ]
   Get up and get me sandwich!?!?! That is great. It's so true becauce that's really what it boils down to. Not the sex but they're willing to do afterwards. It started out so sweet and passionate, then... get me a sandwich. Beautiful!
| Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by ashlee_jane2003 | [ Reply to This ]
  Very nice... For Miss Black Rose... I give a thumbs up. This poem is very powerful... 'hold me in your eyes' and 'reapply your love to my sweetness'... great lines... i do, however, think that the last line completely destroys it. I know the feeling you were trying to convey, but it's such a big switch of emotion... This piece needs, in my opinion, to end as romatically as it began. On the other hand, it is fun as it is beCause of the huge switch. I dunno where I stand... I think I just fancy the concept of reading more...
| Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by MerryDeath | [ Reply to This ]
  lol, The SAD part about that, though funny when you think about it, is that that is actually done. Either that or within nanoseconds, it's the heavy breating of sleep that you'll here. This was funny, not at all what I expected.
| Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by curiosityskitty | [ Reply to This ]
  yeah yeah, i like that,
gets you caught up in the midst and then its like
a BIG twist the comedy side, very good style of writing.
a lot of indepth involvment,
but would have loved more detail, then i think you would have proper given those captivatin visiuals, the kind beyond verbalism.
| Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by frank bazaya | [ Reply to This ]
  too funneeeeeeeee, and quite amusing, I enjoyed it, but I think it's far too good a write to make it a comedy, the first three stanzas are powerful and should be considered for continuation in that respect, either way...nice job and they are right, ecstacy...Bob:)
| Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by poetryman | [ Reply to This ]
  great poem, flow and emotions and a nice surprize ending, nicely done! The ending made for real life..lol...getting hungry after intense sex.
Take care,
Alan
| Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by MidnghtScorpion | [ Reply to This ]
  When reality raised it's head (no pun) at the end of this poem it made it special. I was not impressed with it until then. You can get a lot of that stuff at the XXX bookstore, so Bravo! on pulling it all together in the end and making it a fun read. I'll watch for more in the future!
| Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
  This poem was so great! I love the in depth discription of the sex betweent them...adn the comedy at the end. You have great ideas. lol. What kind of sandwhich was it? :) Keep up the great writing, Ill be looking for more.
~jane
| Posted on 2004-12-04 00:00:00 | by Jane Lost | [ Reply to This ]
  lol. love the poem. great imagery, great emotion. love the last line. definitely awesome.
Not sure how you can improve, but watch the spelling. "ecstacy" (I think that's how it's spelled anyway.)
J
| Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by bentnotbroken | [ Reply to This ]
  I agree with dmm; I was intrigued during the poem, but the ending really did it for me. I guess you do use the word love in it, which is really kind of ironic... but love is often said in contexts in which it doesn't reply, sex being a very often one!

I would personally like more punctuation; I thought it was a little unclear without sufficient commas, period, dashes, semicolons, etc. Your capitalization was good, however.

Very fun read... I'd hope I see more like this!
| Posted on 2004-11-27 00:00:00 | by mixedemotions00 | [ Reply to This ]

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