Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Glancedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: eener
    ASL Info:    21/f/wi
    Elite Ratio:    5.55 - 351/370/53
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 976
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 751



    Description:
       Just a sweet little bit of imaginative romantic interlude, for your enjoyment.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Glancedots
    -------------------------------------------


    As they diligently resume
    Meaningless dialogue with whom
    Could never ease their solitary gloom,
    Their eyes hungrily consume
    All the other sites in the room.

    As his eyes change direction
    He allows for a second's infection
    Of her breathtaking perfection,
    Before snapping back to attention
    To avoid any objection.

    She catches his stare,
    Her companions unaware
    She'll soon retire of their care
    To interrupt his trivial affair,
    Answering his every prayer.

    What if there existed a chance
    For the lifelong dance
    Of a beautiful romance
    To evolve from the trance
    Produced by one shared glance?




    Submitted on 2004-11-19 13:59:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      ah! remarkable! Such flow and rhyming...! I love the message...this sorta tells of one of my most recent, ongoing experiences, lol.

    What if there existed a chance
    For the lifelong dance
    Of a beautiful romance
    To evolve from the trance
    Produced by one shared glance?

    I love this part the best. *sighs* if only...okay, I can not let your poem intise me into entering a dream state, lol. Going to read more now...

    ->Dark
    | Posted on 2004-11-25 00:00:00 | by drk_angl_17 | [ Reply to This ]
      then the world would be perfectly balanced and the love/ good would privail. . i supose this is wishful thinking, and i can't say that i hate it. its so willfully wraps you up in the what -ifs. in the hopes that love will win the good fight, and that evil will one day take a backseat. i can't imagine the world then. i don't understand what it would be like. i love this. love at a glance. wishful thinking is all that really comes to mind. and why not think wishfully. they are such beautiful wishes and dreams.
    | Posted on 2004-11-20 00:00:00 | by butterfly wings | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the ideas you have here, but I do think that you should watch out for the rhyme scheme. You and I both know that this is a very tight structure and I think you should watch to see if sticking to this limits what you are trying to say. It's worked okay this time though, as the simple theme was elaborated on nicely...
    I don't know about making this into a set though...but if you do, I'd like to see how it turns out...
    | Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      i really liked this and the way you rhymed it. usually rhymes sound so forced, but this seemed to just roll of the tongue.

    What if there existed a chance
    For the lifelong dance
    Of a beautiful romance
    To evolve from the trance
    Produced by one shared glance?

    wouldn't that be grand? good work. good luck with doing the set!
    | Posted on 2004-11-26 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    33458

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Wavelength written by saartha
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    To written by SavedDragon
    Linger written by saartha
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    This written by Chelebel
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Incubus written by monad
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Bond written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry