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    dots Submission Name: The Glancedots

    Author: eener
    ASL Info:    21/f/wi
    Elite Ratio:    5.55 - 351/370/53
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 976
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 751

       Just a sweet little bit of imaginative romantic interlude, for your enjoyment.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Glancedots

    As they diligently resume
    Meaningless dialogue with whom
    Could never ease their solitary gloom,
    Their eyes hungrily consume
    All the other sites in the room.

    As his eyes change direction
    He allows for a second's infection
    Of her breathtaking perfection,
    Before snapping back to attention
    To avoid any objection.

    She catches his stare,
    Her companions unaware
    She'll soon retire of their care
    To interrupt his trivial affair,
    Answering his every prayer.

    What if there existed a chance
    For the lifelong dance
    Of a beautiful romance
    To evolve from the trance
    Produced by one shared glance?

    Submitted on 2004-11-19 13:59:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      ah! remarkable! Such flow and rhyming...! I love the message...this sorta tells of one of my most recent, ongoing experiences, lol.

    What if there existed a chance
    For the lifelong dance
    Of a beautiful romance
    To evolve from the trance
    Produced by one shared glance?

    I love this part the best. *sighs* if only...okay, I can not let your poem intise me into entering a dream state, lol. Going to read more now...

    | Posted on 2004-11-25 00:00:00 | by drk_angl_17 | [ Reply to This ]
      then the world would be perfectly balanced and the love/ good would privail. . i supose this is wishful thinking, and i can't say that i hate it. its so willfully wraps you up in the what -ifs. in the hopes that love will win the good fight, and that evil will one day take a backseat. i can't imagine the world then. i don't understand what it would be like. i love this. love at a glance. wishful thinking is all that really comes to mind. and why not think wishfully. they are such beautiful wishes and dreams.
    | Posted on 2004-11-20 00:00:00 | by butterfly wings | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the ideas you have here, but I do think that you should watch out for the rhyme scheme. You and I both know that this is a very tight structure and I think you should watch to see if sticking to this limits what you are trying to say. It's worked okay this time though, as the simple theme was elaborated on nicely...
    I don't know about making this into a set though...but if you do, I'd like to see how it turns out...
    | Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      i really liked this and the way you rhymed it. usually rhymes sound so forced, but this seemed to just roll of the tongue.

    What if there existed a chance
    For the lifelong dance
    Of a beautiful romance
    To evolve from the trance
    Produced by one shared glance?

    wouldn't that be grand? good work. good luck with doing the set!
    | Posted on 2004-11-26 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]

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