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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Straggled Delinquenciesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MyX
    ASL Info:    27/m/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 932/973/107
    Words: 335
    Class/Type: Prose/
    Total Views: 1933
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2190



    Description:
       I still feel this small....

    ___


    ok, maybe this small...

    _____

    MyX


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStraggled Delinquenciesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Straggled Delinquencies

    Convalescent threads.
    The dry bob catastrophe
    Wack job back talk.
    Shotgun chicken troth.
    Dig up that old hard rock cafť t-shirt your medicated Aunt bought you 3 years ago.
    And use it like
    A dirty rag that has collected more filth than the railing of an escalator in downtown New York, to wipe from your face.
    Your neighbor filled her bathtub up with Ramen noodles and invited her grandchildren over.
    Jerry Springer is on.
    Deceased Ringer isnít coming.

    Eccentric.

    Choose from my deluxe mixed nuts
    As I begin to unsheathe my penis as the credits roll on my way to the outhouse at the drive in.
    Study the spots I mark.
    My cumshot inkblots.

    Con me like a prostitute and quadriplegic with half a hard on.
    Clutter up my mind like the medicine cabinet of a hypochondriac.
    Render me useless like an AIDS patientís a-spot.
    Freak me out like a schizophrenic in a fun house.
    Frustrate me like a paxil patient in a traffic jam with a tooth ache.
    Then go cut a hole in my favorite stuffed animal.
    And have at it.

    I donít confide a fuck.

    Would you shit out another bunt cake if I remove your pillow tags?
    Would throw up an armless man if I installed an automatic hand dryer in your home?
    Squeeze from the bottom of the tube.
    Have a snickers.
    Freak.
    Failure.

    The oblong black heads are twirling their instruments on kielbasa Tuesday at the A-Wok.
    Someoneís mommy is frying round fries on the stove in bleached jeans with a ciggy dangling from her mouth.
    And you.
    Anal drainage.
    Fecal leakage.

    Your face looks like a bowl of bran flakes.
    Your loverís body looks like pieces of chewed meat.
    And your sex smells like something a skunk would use for an air freshener.
    Like a junkie in a church choir, I still harbor my confusion.
    Straggled Delinquencies,
    Follow me.


    MBE 11-19-04








    Submitted on 2004-11-19 14:37:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was about as honest as you could be...which is great- you don't take other's feelings into consideration-why? cause you don't have to. Your imagry was perfect to the affect you usually go for. I don't know how else to put it-this was pretty [censored] awesome...you really "raised the bar" here even for you and I can truely say you are one of the best writers on here that I've come across. hope to read more from you soon.
    peace
    | Posted on 2005-11-27 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      OK...lemme just start by saying ! This is great and I find I am now officially addicted to your writings! This is just fu cking awesome and it is so blunt and direct that there is no reading between the lines cause it is all just staring me right in the face! Fu cking awesome! I love the paxil patient in a traffic jam with a toothache! Made me just sit here and laugh out loud and I am again smiling as I type this to you! You speak of reality is such a matter of fact way that it is just brilliant! Some parts are really disgusting to even imagine like the sex that smells like something a skunk would use as an airfreshner is just ewww! but it the same breath made me laugh just to read it! This is just great great great! I love your style and your talent speaks for itself to say the least. Nice!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-09-13 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting says it. I can agree with most comments on here. It's raw and honest, a screwed up interpretation of someone's screwed up life. Different. I'll have to check out your other writes, because I don't really understand this one. I do like the style though, because it is so bluntly honest.
    | Posted on 2004-12-29 00:00:00 | by 8utterf1y | [ Reply to This ]
      some of this makes sense to me... some of this is jibberish... but hey.. no sense makes sense (hitler said that) i guess...

    i do like the style in this... i only know a few people that write like this... such raw style...

    "my cumshot inkblots"

    my absolute favorite line.. though it makes me wonder (not willingly) what you do with your time... the last stanza caught my eye too... i think people are disgusting... i dont know if that's what you were trying to convey there, but... 'i really identified with it'...
    | Posted on 2004-12-28 00:00:00 | by besodemuerte | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not gonna lie. I probably didnt understand a lick of what you were trying to convey. This one reeks of you-ness though, a style that I'll have to get used to once again. The bit about the shirt from the aunt made me laugh...I'm not quite sure why though. I'll make sure to give this another go when I am more lucid.
    | Posted on 2004-12-25 00:00:00 | by LadyChaos | [ Reply to This ]
      Lots of hate being directed and honed on it's target like a laser. It's like a challenge for them to give it their best shot. Go ahead and shi.t on you, make you crazy, leave you all messed up, but how would they feel if you returned those favors on them? Repay them with cut off pillow tags and hand dryers. Maybe the sharp edge of the tag will cut into their carotid artery while they sleep. Shove the inane back into their bran flake face. There have been times where I felt such hate and disgust towards a particular person that my nose actually pinched up in disgust at the imagined smell of them. Not that they really smelled, mind you, but because the hatred I felt might as well sickened my stomach with it's putridity.
    | Posted on 2004-12-22 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      This is crazy. I'm sure I dont get all of its hidden meanings. But this is phenomenal. Its so well constructed, each word is put in JUST the right place to make a phenomenal write. And a phenomenal read. This is very impressive. I loved the 4th(?) stanza... if you count the word eccentric as a stanza. It was pretty funny.
    Good work.
    Im impressed.
    -Andrya
    | Posted on 2004-12-11 00:00:00 | by andrya | [ Reply to This ]
      I get it, it's a poem about a snafu, situation normal all fu.cked up. But you like it that way, from what I've been able to tell.
    I think you sit back and watch the crazy sh.it happen and listen to people whine about it knowing that they aren't really whining, because they wouldn't know how to live any other way, would they?
    This looks like a long term effort. I hope it is, I hope this much sh.it doesn't flood your head all in one sitting!
    later,
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-12-08 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      i. like. everything. indeed, i do. i especially admire your use of brief, sparse language that leads to your vivid and fleeting glimpses into the morbid reality of life. "we that look on but laugh in tragic joy," said Yeats. that is what i felt when i read your poem. thank you for a wonderful read.
    | Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by creativeentity | [ Reply to This ]
      where do i start?
    i like your twisted sarcastic disdainful take on things. i like the way you pick at the disguting and pityful and take it to another level, much deeper and more sickening.
    i like the mood of the piece and there are some good analogies.
    but there are some [censored] ones too.
    and i have read your style many times, and this is more of the same.
    what i find good about it i also find not so good. the piece is like a list, like howmanyanalogiescanigetintoonepoemtomaybehidethefactthatidonthavemuchdirectionformypiece.
    you have subject matter-a-plenty, but i dont really see where it is going. maybe that is because of the last line, for me it made it into something else. it turned it from a rant, and a good one at that, to something that should mean something more, have more depth.
    but all i see is you like them? self disgust? i dont know, i just think that once you opened that avenue, you could have utilised it better.
    im giving you mixed signals here, and i dont know if that is a good thing or not, but i guess this is how feel about it.
    i dont know,
    i just dont know.
    if i were to take it for what it is, then i can like it for what it is. i just think you have it in you to produce something a little more organised and intelligent in addition to the attributes that this piece holds.
    take care
    one
    a
    day
    except on sundays.
    | Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by on1eday.co.uk | [ Reply to This ]
      Mixed nuts in trail mix(with raisins). I was staring at your cumshot inkblot a few minutes ago and I saw a feather between the lines of your madness.

    The fecking anxiety toothache attack was a good one for me considering I sometimes think I need to be medicated during rush hour. Still wouldn't beckon the calm..

    I wondered what happened to that T-shirt.

    Straggled and scattered and quite mixed the nuts. I admire your madness. It inspires me.
    Unmatched
    This is why you have the skillage.
    Fecking brilliant.

    -Kristina
    | Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by Kristina9178 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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