Angel by shepj

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Submission Name: Angel dots

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Author:	shepj
Elite Ratio:	3.35 - 17/25/5
Words:	80

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	989
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	450

Description:
I got a basic idea for this poem a few days ago but managed to say what I wanted to say and got it done in fairly good time.

Angel

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You've pulled me from the depths of darkness,
brought back my entity.
You took away from my distress, by opening the blinds,
you've brought back my peacefulness, my clarity of the mind.
You took away my conflict, and my need to cry,
I thank you with, all my heart, you truly are divine.
You are my angel, my hero, and my friend,
if not for you I fear, I would be at end.

Submitted on 2004-11-19 15:52:53 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
  this poem sucks hard...kinda like you do
and its really unoriginal
it reminds me of everyother poem ive ever read
maybe one day your get a [censored] life
| Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by Kitty | [ Reply to This ]
  Jem, baby. I miss you calling me names. Call me a [censored] and make me cry. I miss you talking about sit ups; you were so deep *gag* Come on! I wanna write some more!
| Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by Kitty | [ Reply to This ]
  Thanks to everyone for the comments made on my poem. I hope to write more good work and look forward to reading more of all of your works.
Jeremy
| Posted on 2004-11-24 00:00:00 | by shepj | [ Reply to This ]
  Awww how sweet. I'm happy somone had such an important impact on your life and you've recognized that.

Anyway about your poem, the ending was kinda rough, but apart from that everything seemed to fit pretty well. This was my favorite line by far:

" You took away from my distress, by opening the blinds,"

Great write my friend:O)
--Kayla
| Posted on 2004-11-21 00:00:00 | by Superman | [ Reply to This ]
  Thnx for the comments. I wanted this poem to be short just because I felt I could make a point quick and not repeditively. I kinda liked the rhyme, but I didn't really mean to make that the priority. Thnx for the advise also,
Jeremy
| Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by shepj | [ Reply to This ]
  Hmm, poetry wise, the poem, I found, was short and inconclusive, but the length of the write is what also made it good. In a short piece you wrote done some powerful emotions, and Im sure you feel the same way. I enjoyed the write but would of liked to see more, of how you felt about your friend. Anyways, well done, and I hope to read more of your poetry soon, keep writing, take care
| Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by matt73 | [ Reply to This ]
  awww. thats cute. This person, saved your life I'm assuming, and you write a poem for them. It is a good poem indeed. It has a good rhyme scheme. But remeber that not all poetry has to rhyme and sometimes if you try to make it rhyme then, sometimes it might hinder or stunt the potential of your poem. Not that, it happened in this poem, but just as a furture reference. If you have to sacrafice a rhyme to better your paper, do it. Keep it up.
Spartan
| Posted on 2004-11-19 00:00:00 | by Spartan | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.