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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Maybedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: legalinsane
    ASL Info:    26/M/New York, NY
    Elite Ratio:    4.27 - 157/178/40
    Words: 225
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 521
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1555



    Description:
       This is a poem that I wrote quite a while ago in creative writing class. It was an assignment in the use of double entendre patterned after a master of it...who shamefully I can not remember...but anyway...each line has its own distinct meaning, and yet so does the whole...tell me what you think. It is meant to be read with a pause after each line.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMaybedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Maybe

    Unsure,
    I wait.
    Will I see
    her? Can I

    have these hopes?
    She calls me
    hers. I wish
    I knew

    the truth.
    She loves
    him? Not me,
    does she?

    Maybe.

    I pick her
    up. Lets go
    to my place
    to drink

    a few? She smiles,
    ok, on our way.
    We have to be
    quiet. Do we?

    Maybe.

    Rip the strip,
    twist the tip,
    take my sip, I
    watch her

    lips. I wait
    for her to
    show me
    love.

    Maybe.

    Undercover, we lie
    with each other. Alone
    as one, we two
    sing forever.

    Maybe.

    Oily sin-
    ful lips, naked
    fingertips leave
    a stain. I’m so

    naked,

    so plain. Lick my
    wounds. She says,
    don’t worry, I
    love you. I’m so

    apprehensive. I wish
    I knew her
    true. As you do
    I to am so

    naked

    and vulnerable. You know
    my fears. I’m soaked
    with invisible tears. We are
    one, for this moment.

    Please

    don’t let it
    ever end. I love
    you so,
    you know?

    Maybe.

    We may be
    naked
    and vulnerable. You know
    I’ll always be

    here.


    Brian J. Demick




    Submitted on 2004-03-16 19:41:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    2: I dunno...
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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow. not only is 'maybe' my favourite word. but it's fabulous in this context. i love the choppiness and the execution of its flow when you read it oh so fast. there are so many undying lines that....let me pick just one....
    so plain. Lick my
    wounds. She says,
    don’t worry, I
    love you. I’m so

    this one this one this one this one....how i love. and i won't count ways for the moment i do, i will forget number two.

    ghost.
    | Posted on 2004-03-23 00:00:00 | by myghostsliketotravel | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like this. Does need a couple read throughs, one pausing after each line, and one just going straight through. Very deep and emotional piece. Is this about ur ex? if yes, proof that adversity breed GREAT art.

    ice
    | Posted on 2004-03-17 00:00:00 | by deadlydarkdevil | [ Reply to This ]



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