Description: Whoever you are you've no right to care - I always tell people, 'I'm not hard to know, but nobody knows me.' Sorry, but you're nobody. We all are. Wish me a happy voyage, and chastise me if I don't make it.
good bye,
with any luck
Mike
PS: no I'm not actually drunk anymore - it can't help me either - guess it never really did.
I've taken all of my medication.
I went to my doctor like the good boy I am ultimately am.
I can't remember when - but I'm not good with time.
I always ask people,
'If you know both ends of a string, does it really matter what's in the middle?'
Obviously it does, if you're interested in that sort of thing.
I've always maintained that I'm simply not.
I know that at both ends there's 'not-life.'
That's all I really know about it,
But at this point I know I have a real issue with life.
a secret: I cut myself for the first time today; an accident to be completely mechanical, but not to be intentional. For a second the searing pain on my wrist pulled me a way from the pain in my chest.
I'm fascinated that I'm writing this to be quite honest.
Normally this wouldn't be me.
Normally I'm 'crazy but well-adjusted.'
I don't want to be crazy anymore.
I don't want to be 'adjusted,' 'well-' or otherwise.
All my favorite songs are played out.
All my favorite friends are gone -
Or maybe I've already sent them away?
Regardless, I don't want to be anymore.
For all the pills I take, I don't have any that I know will take me out with any sort of surety -
Even lithium has the distinct probability of simply putting me into a coma -
Another coma.
I have all white sheets -
I hope they don't wake up pink.
I hope I don't wake up at all
wow. This is excellent. I'm surprised you poured out like this, it's rather uncharacteristic of you (unless you're pourin out booze...into a glass...) but this was a really great piece. This is a little too close to home, and in a way its depressing to know that i can even relate to it, on top of the depressing tone of the piece. I especially liked the bridge in the middle, about how you accidentally cut yourself, and through it escaped your pain for just a moment. It really does start to look bad when you find yourself noting things like that. The initial feeling is never really bad though, it's when you find yourself calmly and unpassionately (is that a word?...it is now.) planning out your own suicide and how to make it have the least impact on those around you that you should worry. As long as you keep feeling emotion you'll be fine. I really liked this though...it seems my favorites list is starting to be dominated by your works... keep writing, it'll help take out some of the pain, but you probably all ready know that. -drizzt
For a solid minute after I read this I was speechless. I mean...Wow...Some of the things you said in here seriously disturbed me. Not because you mentioned suicide or anything else that is usually disturbing. It was the sickeningly brutal honest, and dispassion with which this entire poem is conveyed. As poem this is definitely not your best piece of work, but coming from you...that doesn't mean much considering the pentabulousness of everything you write...the bit in the middle, about cutting urself seemed like a different poem. Almost like your cut and pasted from another part of your memory. Well, babe, this is a nice piece of work...though it sounds like you need a hug *hug*
Submission Name: Suicidal Notation
