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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: 4 Letter Paindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Tinasha
    ASL Info:    20/Female/Oklahoma City
    Elite Ratio:    3.96 - 100/142/41
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1493
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 884



    Description:
       love is a job...it takes integrity, it takes passion, it takes all of your heart...can you say you do your job well?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots4 Letter Paindots
    -------------------------------------------


    Love
    4 letter pain
    one more letter than sex
    and one more feeling to maintain
    blinding your every move
    confusion moves in like a mouse in winter…
    cold and tired of it
    being in love is an illusion
    step over to the other side and find true love
    love that’s real
    something sweeter than the outer
    deeper than the inner
    a passion all throughout
    that overwhelms ones mind
    and leaves no room for doubt
    Love
    4 letter pain
    L-O-V-E
    It’ll sweep you off your feet
    Only to have you land on your head
    And break your neck before your realize
    It ain’t no good
    Kiss me, hug me, hold me, love me…not
    For I can’t handle the poison
    Yet it controls and consumes me…
    This
         L-O-V-E





    Submitted on 2004-11-20 16:37:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is a very nice poem too but don't be weak and don't give up... love is beautiful when you open your eyes to it
    | Posted on 2006-09-20 00:00:00 | by Ani | [ Reply to This ]
      well I think it was pretty good except for the part about breaking your neck. See I broke my neck 4 years ago and I swear to freaking god I curse him every day if ther eis one for letting that happen to me-even though it was totally my fault simply hearing the word broken neck just kills me -so not bad but not your best
    lamemansterms
    | Posted on 2005-05-07 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]
      "Kiss me, hug me, hold me, love me…not
    For I can’t handle the poison
    Yet it controls and consumes me…
    This
    L-O-V-E"

    mmm mmm mmm you said it all and you did it without using the same old words..I'm glad to have stumbled across your page and look forward to diggin deeper into your obvious talent!
    | Posted on 2005-03-30 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      “It ain’t no good” is a double negitive and would mean that it IS good. Unless it’s intentional- you may want to fix that. I really did lyke thys poem. The one part that realy stuck out lyke a bloody thumb was the lyne- “confusion moves in like a mouse in winter…” A kewl lyne- but it’s home does not seem to be in thys poem. Great title and concept- I think it’s awesome. Clearly the best one I’ve read today (and I’ve read a lot)
    Peace, love and the cow jumped over the moon-
    ~#6-
    | Posted on 2004-11-20 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      I have heard a lot about flow myself, and have come to think of it more as scene direction than strictly rhythm.
    You can put Hitchcock and Leone side by side and say they're both masters; yet each has a pace and style unique unto themselves.
    Find a style that suits you. ;)
    | Posted on 2004-11-20 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      and one more feeling to maintain
    blinding your every move
    confusion moves in like a mouse in winter…
    cold and tired of it
    being in love is an illusion
    step over to the other side and find true love
    love that’s real

    I enjoyed that part of the piece but I somewhat disagree with it for a few reasons. First off, what's the definition of "real love?" A love that's unconditional? I understand the difference between "thinking" and "knowing" you're in love; but I don't see the line between "false" and "real" love.

    Why? Because love is only an emotion. It's not a deeprooted scientific chemical that you can take a pill for. It's only an emotion. Just like pain, or sadness, there's love. Guess what: pain ends, sadness will eventually turn to hapiness, and love will sadly fade. It's a fact of life.

    No emotion is permanent. So you always need to consciously be ready to lose your lover to the undeniable fact that hearts can change. I'm not saying they always do, otherwise you wouldn't see 50 year marriage anniversaries. I'm simply saying love is a human emotion like any other emotion, and eventually, you will lose it.

    Take care,
    Rob
    | Posted on 2004-11-20 00:00:00 | by Me Rambling | [ Reply to This ]
      let me start off by saying flow doesn't matter, cause your writing is strong enough that you don't need it...you read it for the sake of readinf it and any flow or subtext you put into it is straight form your own head...but yeah i like the poem

    beautiful

    made me think quite a bit, i was in love for a long time and then BAM stright on my ass and my i'm a slut that drinks too much, but this at least made me feel a tinge of something past all the beer...and i thought about ehr more than i usally do

    so thanks i guess
    card
    | Posted on 2004-11-20 00:00:00 | by playing card | [ Reply to This ]
      a powerful well said and described poem of love that shows how you took alot of time and thought and experience to build this piece a remarkable one , very well done :)
    | Posted on 2004-11-20 00:00:00 | by Tarek Refaat | [ Reply to This ]


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