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Roleplay | Viral news today | Music Theory

Savour


Author: arkay
ASL Info:    50+/m/Atl.Can
Elite Ratio:    4.84 - 450 /320 /56
Words: 80
Class/Type: Haiku /Happy
Total Views: 1171
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 167



Description:

Haiku #3


Savour





Savouring today
Enhances joys yet to come;
Relish the flavour.




Submitted on 2004-11-20 16:40:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  This doesn't exactly work for me.
Most haikus don't...so don't be alarmed.

This one bothers me simply because the concept is hard to swallow.

Dwelling on the future is no good, and as long as your savoring the present, you're not.
thats fine.

But enhances?

Its just not the right word, and seems too conveiniently placed for its amount of syllables.

-Shoes
| Posted on 2004-11-22 00:00:00 | by iShoes | [ Reply to This ]
  I'd say this was quite true to the spirit of haiku. Well chosen words, carefully metered, that display vivid images and move the emotions.
Puts me in mind of a song.
Thanks for posting a wonderful reminder everyone can use. :D
| Posted on 2004-11-20 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
  this is intresting, i have never really been one for the whole haiku thing but this is supriseingly well written and thought full...i have to say i really like it. you did a relly great job makeing a feeling and we get a sense of that feeling awesome what ever it is

card
| Posted on 2004-11-20 00:00:00 | by playing card | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow. Well that was great. So much meaning in so few words. Powerful how that can happen. A lovely message you have here.
| Posted on 2004-11-20 00:00:00 | by Cigarette Smoke | [ Reply to This ]
  hmm this is what is called a Haiku i presume.. if i'm correct its very nice and meaningful , i hope am right though , and thanks for sharing :)
| Posted on 2004-11-20 00:00:00 | by Tarek Refaat | [ Reply to This ]


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