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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Abby Sinthetic
    Elite Ratio:    2.75 - 177/230/53
    Words: 40
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 917
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 282



    Description:
       I don't know..it's not finished and I just wrote it....just now. I was listening to some weird song on the radio.......


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    He left you.
    He never really wanted you, anyway.
    You thought you loved him.
    you thought he loved you.
    Don't look back.

    He died, today.
    You were in love
    were going to run away.
    Don't look back.





    Submitted on 2004-11-20 17:14:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      its choppy which is a quality i like. you shouldnt have to classify it as anything.
    | Posted on 2007-04-07 00:00:00 | by HappyBuddaH | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it, it feels like a snippet heard on the radio, I think it would be cool if you put this with similar pieces in content but different styles. and what's up with your journal? :P not everybody hates you..cheer up:P
    | Posted on 2004-11-20 00:00:00 | by joe quinn | [ Reply to This ]
      liked it but it was short


    you should name it something like HEARTBROKEN or DEATH BECOMES HIM.

    i did like the way you used heartbreak in to this poem imy fave bit was

    You thought you loved him.
    you thought he loved you.
    Don't look back.

    kellz
    | Posted on 2004-11-20 00:00:00 | by kellz | [ Reply to This ]
      He left you.
    He never really wanted you, anyway.
    You thought you loved him.
    you thought he loved you.
    Don't look back.

    He died, today.
    You were in love
    were going to run away.
    Don't look back.

    First, I'd classify this as "lyrics."

    Second, I would either add complete punctuation or no punctuation at all. Lyrics, in my opinion, aren't always improved with it; but I think poetry needs it. So decide what you want this to be.

    It's a half-way decent start. Give me a message sometime when you add some more to it. I'd like to see what it turns into. ;)

    Good start,
    Rob
    | Posted on 2004-11-20 00:00:00 | by Me Rambling | [ Reply to This ]


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    33654

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