Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Dreamdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: moaxcym
    ASL Info:    23/m/Pakistan
    Elite Ratio:    2.87 - 155/196/85
    Words: 43
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 749
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 247



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Dreamdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I dream of a desert
    And a rose full pleasant
    Who dwells in her bosom
    And dwells forever
    I dream of moonlight
    showering upon its beauty
    And a sight of marvel
    Which would manifest deity




    Submitted on 2004-11-21 02:57:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Finaly I have found a poet whose style is akin mine, complexity in verse that no one will understand, though the poem is presented simply. I hope to read more of your stuff and I hope you will read mine, true friend. Your in pakistan i'm in australia but we are close. vvv.
    | Posted on 2004-11-21 00:00:00 | by vvv | [ Reply to This ]
      The brevity and abstract beauty of this piece really drew me in. I reread a couple of times and have to say that i really respect and admire the carefully chosen and placed words and the beauty of the concept and images, but after reading it a few more times again, i'm still not totally sure what you are trying to say. An enjoyable read nonetheless, but i'm not certain why. Thanx for your words.
    =Jimma=
    | Posted on 2004-11-21 00:00:00 | by Jimma | [ Reply to This ]
      I got confused on who dwells in whose bosom! Very abstract and draws the reader in to analyse further, but didnt really work as it could have for me. Maybe some of the wording needs a rewrite...just my view...pm me for a rewrite if you choose to do it!
    | Posted on 2004-11-21 00:00:00 | by elephantasia | [ Reply to This ]
      Beauty and abstractness distilled. Some punctuation and a look at some of the wording, I feel, would greatly enhance the flow and emphasise the beauty and eloquence of the person you are describing. Worth taking a look at!
    | Posted on 2004-11-21 00:00:00 | by whiteknight | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this was wierd. Doesn't mean it's not good, just wierd. I agree, it does have a certian sweetness and beuty to it, whether it's the shortness and the words or whatever it may be, good job.
    | Posted on 2004-11-21 00:00:00 | by Cutting Envy | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this very much. Its beaty in its shortness. It makes you reflect abaout it, abstract enough to make you really think. Also loved the vocabulary
    | Posted on 2004-11-21 00:00:00 | by Rocky Raccoon | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    33714

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Love written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry