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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Above This Gamedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jimma
    ASL Info:    22/m/Melb Aust
    Elite Ratio:    4.75 - 217/234/54
    Words: 176
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 754
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1378



    Description:
       OK, never really written in this style before. Dunno really how this came about. Let me know what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAbove This Gamedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Here I am
    Above this game
    No pain
    No shame
    No way the same
    As all this other
    Shit you hear
    The way
    The game
    Is played
    These days
    Is just insane
    The players play
    They're all the same
    TV's to blame
    These easy ways
    These sleazy days
    These G's they say
    On these airwaves
    All this pointless shit
    No point to hit
    These two-bit
    Rhymers
    These out-of-timers
    With senseless lines
    All the time
    Just to make
    Their lyrics rhyme
    Can't define
    These words like mine
    Combining dreams
    And finding scenes
    Divine beliefs
    Refining these
    Lines I scream
    Firing at these
    Clinical cynics
    With spiritual lyrics
    Renaissance precision
    In these lines that I've written
    The Da Vinci of rhyme
    I'll convince you in time
    That these lyrics of mine
    Are the work of a mind
    Inspired, divine
    With a skill
    That is classic
    And a will
    That is drastic
    A flow
    So fantastic
    Makes others
    Sound spastic
    Makes them sound plastic
    No one can match this
    When they come face to face
    With my vocal gymnastics




    Submitted on 2004-11-21 05:35:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like the concept, and the articulation and flow is really good, it is however too long as one long rope of text... it might be wise to consider breaking it up - or even possibly looking at whether or not the entire scope of it is necessary. Just a few suggestions, but overall I liked it ^_^
    | Posted on 2004-11-24 00:00:00 | by Transcendancing | [ Reply to This ]
      Makes them sound plastic
    No one can match this
    When they come face to face
    With my vocal gymnastics

    HAhahahaha...

    Vocal gymnastics?

    You rock. Seriously.

    That whole thing owned, actually. I've read a lot of your work and yes, this was totally different. Sounds like you had enough of hearing people make it with crappy writing skills. ;)

    Good write hahaha.. I needed that.. really.

    Vocal gymnastics.. :)

    Rob
    | Posted on 2004-11-21 00:00:00 | by Me Rambling | [ Reply to This ]


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    33726

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