Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Help Themdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/What you did
    Total Views: 627
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 852



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHelp Themdots
    -------------------------------------------


    you thought it was a joke.
    you didn't think it was true.
    now you feel guilty, saying,
    "i didn't know what to do."
    well you could have helped me,
    you know you could have tried.
    and now that i'm gone,
    all you do is cry?
    why don't you go out,
    and find more out like me.
    go out and help them,
    set their minds free.
    take them away from sadness,
    keep them from the dark.
    do some thing nice, you know,
    like take them to the park.
    hold them tight with comfort,
    never let them get away.
    say to them, "i love you.
    "and we want you to stay."
    to me they never said this,
    they only expressed the hate.
    i tried to do my best,
    but couldn't escape my fate.




    Submitted on 2004-11-21 10:45:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      thanks for commenting on this one, i appretiate it. ill be keeping my eye open for your work too ok! we all try to be happy but it doesn't alway work, right.
    but we all still try!
    christina
    | Posted on 2004-11-21 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      love the flow of the poem, i liked it great job on it! its a lil sad, but thats ok! everyone needs a lil sadness in their life at sum point! great job on it!
    | Posted on 2004-11-21 00:00:00 | by DancingGirl | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    33750

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Linger written by saartha
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Giving written by jjd
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    The Promise written by annie0888
    This written by Chelebel
    Bond written by saartha
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Wavelength written by saartha
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry