Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Help Themdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/What you did
    Total Views: 608
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 852



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHelp Themdots
    -------------------------------------------


    you thought it was a joke.
    you didn't think it was true.
    now you feel guilty, saying,
    "i didn't know what to do."
    well you could have helped me,
    you know you could have tried.
    and now that i'm gone,
    all you do is cry?
    why don't you go out,
    and find more out like me.
    go out and help them,
    set their minds free.
    take them away from sadness,
    keep them from the dark.
    do some thing nice, you know,
    like take them to the park.
    hold them tight with comfort,
    never let them get away.
    say to them, "i love you.
    "and we want you to stay."
    to me they never said this,
    they only expressed the hate.
    i tried to do my best,
    but couldn't escape my fate.




    Submitted on 2004-11-21 10:45:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      thanks for commenting on this one, i appretiate it. ill be keeping my eye open for your work too ok! we all try to be happy but it doesn't alway work, right.
    but we all still try!
    christina
    | Posted on 2004-11-21 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      love the flow of the poem, i liked it great job on it! its a lil sad, but thats ok! everyone needs a lil sadness in their life at sum point! great job on it!
    | Posted on 2004-11-21 00:00:00 | by DancingGirl | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    33750

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Cover written by saartha
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Records I written by Raphael
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Love written by saartha
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry