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    dots Submission Name: flowerdots

    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 671
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 851


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    everybody says to me,
    "christina, put it down."
    all i do is look at them,
    stare up with a frown.
    "NO!" i yell,
    as i pull it back,
    i'm crying my eyes out.
    all the courage i lack.
    i don't want to live,
    yet i'm too afraid to die.
    all i can do,
    is sit here and cry.
    i know that you don't understand,
    how much i hurt inside.
    i just can't get these thoughts,
    outside of my mind.
    it hurts to know,
    that i must go on.
    i know i can go,
    but for how long?
    i hate myself,
    but i love them.
    i may be the flower,
    but they are the stem.
    always hold me up,
    even when i'm down.
    they never want to let me,
    ever touch the ground.

    Submitted on 2004-11-21 11:10:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I can empathize with your seniment when you wrote this right I'm all ball nerves just waiting
    whats going to happen next
    | Posted on 2004-11-21 00:00:00 | by littlepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is a great write because I can relate to everything you say so well, and I love the comparison of the flower and the stem, very poetic. I know the feelings you have put in here, and for me, it was my friends that kept me up and wouldn't let me touch the ground, but I suppose the 'them' in this could be anyone really. The only thing that could be improved from my point of view is the rhyme of:

    NO!" i yell as i pull it back,
    i'm crying my eyes out.
    all the courage i lack.

    It does rhyme, yes, but it cuts the rest of the piece short being only three lines whereas the rest of the 'sections' (if you like) were four lines. But apart from that, great write!
    | Posted on 2004-11-21 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]

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