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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Paint Your Worlddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: arkay
    ASL Info:    50+/m/Atl.Can
    Elite Ratio:    4.84 - 450/320/56
    Words: 14
    Class/Type: Haiku/Nature
    Total Views: 1043
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 93



    Description:
       Haiku #4
    Inspired by comments from pizzaman, and kind words from latentlylyrical. So, if you don't like it you can blame them ;)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPaint Your Worlddots
    -------------------------------------------



    Green trees, oceans blue
    The world in array of hues;
    Open your palette.




    Submitted on 2004-11-21 12:16:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i love the metaphor here. open up your eyes (or heart), because you never know what you could be missing out.

    this was exactly how haiku should be. short, sweet, but so complex on so many different levels. excellent write!
    | Posted on 2004-11-23 00:00:00 | by colagirl | [ Reply to This ]
      The 5-7-5 meter is kept and you have the intimation of a second layer of meaning in the second line, so this is a good haiku. The secondary idea is supposed to be veiled. I wouldn't change this or try to explain it.

    For some reason my mind wanted to reply to
    "open your pallete"
    with
    "shut your pie hole"

    I have a weird and sometimes nasty mind I guess!

    later,
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-11-21 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with the comments previous, a very inspirational write in such a short write, and that is tough to accomplish, but you did it. I really enjoyed the point behind this poem, and how you articulated it throught this piece. Wow, great write, and I really look foward to reading more of your work soon!, anyways, take care, and keep writing!
    | Posted on 2004-11-21 00:00:00 | by matt73 | [ Reply to This ]
      You've painted a spectrum of opportunity in three short lines!
    Inspiration can be found anywhere from the forest to the sea; and can be blended into any hue, if we only open ourselves to it.
    Im honored to know I may have encouraged you to write such a lovely piece.
    You must take full credit for the creation, though-your heart and mind seem to imprint each word.
    Excellent work!
    A favorite for certain. :D
    | Posted on 2004-11-21 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey there. Awww...I adore Haikus. They always make me smile. Its so refreshing to read haikus because they encompass a whole lot without using a lot of words. Sort of keeps things nice and simple.

    This is a great haiku. Much love to ya.
    | Posted on 2004-11-21 00:00:00 | by Juliets_dagger | [ Reply to This ]
      I wonder if you are an artist...well of course you are in writing but I mean are you a painter? I liked this peice because its quick, not like a swift striking blade but rather a flower petal falling, gently but swiftly.(woa, where'd that come from?) Anyways, it seems that you are telling people to see the world for what it is, an array of colors, all to be seen as beautiful.
    | Posted on 2004-11-21 00:00:00 | by impassive sky | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the subject, and think that the title fits well, but as for an unbiased review, I'd have to say that it seemed to end too suddenly: "Open your palette." Open it to do what, you already have all these colours around, unless you want to paint the world as you see it, rather than create it with paint, like the title somewhat suggests. Maybe this was more along the lines I was thinking of:

    The colour around
    Doesn't tell the whole story
    Open your palette.

    Meh, just a quicky, and anyone could do better but that pretty much sums up what I thought this haiku was about.
    | Posted on 2004-11-21 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]


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