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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Unravel Medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: words_can_heal
    ASL Info:    22 Female
    Elite Ratio:    3.56 - 79/111/22
    Words: 213
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 941
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1244



    Description:
       Just enjoy and feel it if you can.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUnravel Medots
    -------------------------------------------


    Walk with me.
    Let me hold your hand until I know its every fold, its every crease.
    Talk with me.
    Let me witness the beauty that is your mind.
    Let me find out the stories of your childhood.
    Remember with me.
    I want to see you as a little girl, your innocent smile, your chubby fingers twirling your brunette locks.
    Dance with me.
    I want to see past the veil that you wear over your eyes.
    Let me in through those pretty blue pools of secrecy and pain.
    Laugh with me.
    I want to see you smile, without a single care in the world.

    Be with me.
    Just you and me. Let me unravel the mystery that is...you.

    I can't.
    I can't let you unravel me.
    Because of the real fear that you will not understand the secrets that lie within the centre of myself.

    My mystery is, I cannot be unravelled.
    Please don't try.

    Please do try.
    Please persist.
    Please do not give up like all of the others.
    Only you can wipe away from my eyes the bland stare of the breathing dead.

    My mystery is, I cannot be unravelled.
    Please don't try.




    Submitted on 2004-11-22 03:29:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like this. The feel of two separate people relating on the same subject. Both sides of a love story fused into one poem. Your imagery paints a beautiful picture of two lovers finding themselves.
    Good work.
    | Posted on 2004-11-22 00:00:00 | by arkay | [ Reply to This ]
      I found that the first half of this poem and the last half seemed completely different. Almost like they were written at different times. They show two very different sides of you. First of all i saw a very touching sentimentality, beautifully written and clearly expressed. I saw a genuine interest and care for another. This seemed almost to be in complete juxtaposition of the uncertain view you expressed of yourself. So desperate for someone to understand you and to see your true nature, yet so sure that if someone did do this that they would either not understand or not like what they found. This section really stuck with me:

    'I can't.
    I can't let you unravel me.
    Because of the real fear that you will not understand the secrets that lie within the centre of myself.

    My mystery is, I cannot be unravelled.
    Please don't try.

    Please do try.
    Please persist.
    Please do not give up like all of the others.
    Only you can wipe away from my eyes the bland stare of the breathing dead.

    My mystery is, I cannot be unravelled.
    Please don't try. '

    The uncertainty and conflicting ideas here were brilliantly placed and combined, resulting in a true communication of a feeling of self-doubt. Very well written.

    Thanx for your words.

    =Jimma=
    | Posted on 2004-11-22 00:00:00 | by Jimma | [ Reply to This ]
      a truly wonderful sentimental poem with very and lovely innocent words and very well matched and heart touching.. reminding one of alot of his own past an experiences and those special moments with loved ones.. very well done :)
    | Posted on 2004-11-22 00:00:00 | by Tarek Refaat | [ Reply to This ]
      An interesting free verse poem... You have analysed life, generically... as well as challenged intangible concepts... I enjoyed this passive piece and would like to add that this line "Let me in through those pretty blue pools of secrecy and pain" is the most descriptive metaphor for 'eyes' in which I have read in a long time! A simple yet rich poem... Beautifully done! oxox~Snow~
    | Posted on 2004-11-22 00:00:00 | by Romanticist | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice idea for a poem... to tell you the truth, it kind of reminds me of Smallville (the series)! Haha! But don't get the wrong idea... I really think it's a very original idea for a poem. I have that sometimes... it feels like you want to everything about a person and yet, you just can't reveal much about yourself and it's really not that you don't want to. It's as if you can't... that's how I would relate to this poem anyway. You might have meant it in a different way. But all the same, I think this poem was well-written... it was quite an interesting read!
    | Posted on 2004-11-22 00:00:00 | by zhi wei | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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