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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hamburger Hilldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Apocalyptica
    Elite Ratio:    6.41 - 79/66/10
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 1061
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 692



    Description:
       Song I wrote a long time ago after watching Apocalypse Now too many times.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHamburger Hilldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Hamburger Hill

    Sappers in the Wire
    Looking to Kill
    While I Fought From a Bunker
    On Hamburger Hill

    Tracers Fly By
    See the Rockets' Red Glare?
    Tonight Everyone Dies
    With a Dead Man's Stare

    Danger Close
    Danger Close
    Danger Close
    Danger Close

    Neck to Neck
    And Knife to Knife
    The Bombs Shall Fall
    To End Our Lives (This is Suicide...)

    Fucking Up Charlie
    Was Such a Thrill
    When I Took Him Down With Me
    On Hamburger Hill

    Danger Close
    Danger Close
    Danger Close
    Danger Close




    Submitted on 2004-11-23 03:04:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think you did well with this. I like things like "red rockets' flare". The part about taking lives,
    "To End Our Lives (This is Suicide...)" was redeemed by the suicide, I think. It just added to the song.
    And normally profanity stands out by a mile but it slipped right through the net here. Well done, this is pretty good.
    | Posted on 2004-11-23 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]
      Really good piece. These words would work really well as lyrics. There was a distinct musical rhythm in the piece, and some very clearly expressed imagery. Particularly enjoyed this stanza:

    'Neck to Neck
    And Knife to Knife
    The Bombs Shall Fall
    To End Our Lives (This is Suicide...)'

    Love the futility expressed here. By the way, it was your name that made me read this piece. I [censored]in LOVE apocalyptica. Anyway, I really enjoyed this, it was easy to read. Thanx for your words.

    =Jimma=
    | Posted on 2004-11-23 00:00:00 | by Jimma | [ Reply to This ]
      danger close 4 times..i feel thats more than necessary to make a point ...and it may ven disrupt the flow of the song and drag it a bit...brutal stuff...see the rockets red glare?..u could have left it as a "see the...red glare!"...
    but it was as dark as required.
    | Posted on 2004-11-23 00:00:00 | by k kin | [ Reply to This ]
      this was actually good. so much passion that the freedom given by the writer could lead to so much and give quite more than expected with more pondering. it had quite a level of angst in it that it actually had an undeniable flare.

    good job.
    | Posted on 2004-11-23 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      was that really lyerics from a song?
    if so i thought it was cool cosue i never new that they mad a song about it. yet its sad.
    even sadder to relize that it happened. worste then that would be forgetting that it happened
    | Posted on 2004-11-23 00:00:00 | by snufthepunk28 | [ Reply to This ]


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