I think you did well with this. I like things like "red rockets' flare". The part about taking lives, "To End Our Lives (This is Suicide...)" was redeemed by the suicide, I think. It just added to the song. And normally profanity stands out by a mile but it slipped right through the net here. Well done, this is pretty good.
Really good piece. These words would work really well as lyrics. There was a distinct musical rhythm in the piece, and some very clearly expressed imagery. Particularly enjoyed this stanza:
'Neck to Neck And Knife to Knife The Bombs Shall Fall To End Our Lives (This is Suicide...)'
Love the futility expressed here. By the way, it was your name that made me read this piece. I [censored]in LOVE apocalyptica. Anyway, I really enjoyed this, it was easy to read. Thanx for your words.
danger close 4 times..i feel thats more than necessary to make a point ...and it may ven disrupt the flow of the song and drag it a bit...brutal stuff...see the rockets red glare?..u could have left it as a "see the...red glare!"... but it was as dark as required.
this was actually good. so much passion that the freedom given by the writer could lead to so much and give quite more than expected with more pondering. it had quite a level of angst in it that it actually had an undeniable flare.
was that really lyerics from a song? if so i thought it was cool cosue i never new that they mad a song about it. yet its sad. even sadder to relize that it happened. worste then that would be forgetting that it happened
Submission Name: Hamburger Hill
