[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Hamburger Hilldots

    Author: Apocalyptica
    Elite Ratio:    6.41 - 79/66/10
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 1270
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 692

       Song I wrote a long time ago after watching Apocalypse Now too many times.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHamburger Hilldots

    Hamburger Hill

    Sappers in the Wire
    Looking to Kill
    While I Fought From a Bunker
    On Hamburger Hill

    Tracers Fly By
    See the Rockets' Red Glare?
    Tonight Everyone Dies
    With a Dead Man's Stare

    Danger Close
    Danger Close
    Danger Close
    Danger Close

    Neck to Neck
    And Knife to Knife
    The Bombs Shall Fall
    To End Our Lives (This is Suicide...)

    Fucking Up Charlie
    Was Such a Thrill
    When I Took Him Down With Me
    On Hamburger Hill

    Danger Close
    Danger Close
    Danger Close
    Danger Close

    Submitted on 2004-11-23 03:04:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I think you did well with this. I like things like "red rockets' flare". The part about taking lives,
    "To End Our Lives (This is Suicide...)" was redeemed by the suicide, I think. It just added to the song.
    And normally profanity stands out by a mile but it slipped right through the net here. Well done, this is pretty good.
    | Posted on 2004-11-23 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]
      Really good piece. These words would work really well as lyrics. There was a distinct musical rhythm in the piece, and some very clearly expressed imagery. Particularly enjoyed this stanza:

    'Neck to Neck
    And Knife to Knife
    The Bombs Shall Fall
    To End Our Lives (This is Suicide...)'

    Love the futility expressed here. By the way, it was your name that made me read this piece. I [censored]in LOVE apocalyptica. Anyway, I really enjoyed this, it was easy to read. Thanx for your words.

    | Posted on 2004-11-23 00:00:00 | by Jimma | [ Reply to This ]
      danger close 4 times..i feel thats more than necessary to make a point ...and it may ven disrupt the flow of the song and drag it a bit...brutal stuff...see the rockets red glare?..u could have left it as a "see the...red glare!"...
    but it was as dark as required.
    | Posted on 2004-11-23 00:00:00 | by k kin | [ Reply to This ]
      this was actually good. so much passion that the freedom given by the writer could lead to so much and give quite more than expected with more pondering. it had quite a level of angst in it that it actually had an undeniable flare.

    good job.
    | Posted on 2004-11-23 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      was that really lyerics from a song?
    if so i thought it was cool cosue i never new that they mad a song about it. yet its sad.
    even sadder to relize that it happened. worste then that would be forgetting that it happened
    | Posted on 2004-11-23 00:00:00 | by snufthepunk28 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Incubus written by monad
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    This written by Chelebel
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]