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Author: ViCiOuSWrItEr
ASL Info:    18/Female/Desolate
Elite Ratio:    3.97 - 890 /865 /108
Words: 92
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1906
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 690


ahh... I could do better.


A filthy crystal
a tired feather,
a cherry bat
screeching and trapped.
Weeved together we are,
in a spider's web
she's widowed,
cried together
died together
she tastes the lead, its bitter.
The tiny peices of razor sharp glitter
wash through my eyes
slicing and peeling tissues of disgusting lies
Her plastic jesus means nothing to us
bendable nazareth quakes through us
bloody thorns fill your hands,
from removing each one from my head, my land
we stretch silently
across this place
it's no longer jesus' space.
We prevailed.

Submitted on 2004-11-23 12:37:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  This is a very dark poem. You touch on some really dark content with this poem and I think you have a good way of expressing yourself. Your poems have a uniqueness to them which is very refreshing. This one lives on the edge so to speak by risking offending some people who may believe differently than you spiritually. I am not overly religious so these words didnt bother me at all, but I wonder if these are your views or just the expression of the poem? Either way, your expression of feelings here is good and the poem is original. Take care.

| Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow, this sounds very original...quite interesting, I am impressed, your alias already seemed to be intriguing..:) Good thing for you. You impress the reader with the first three lines, they just force to read further...really. Sometimes I cant read poem till the end, if it gets boring, or is too long, but your form is great and easy to read, although the content is complicated, and the main thought is not that easy to catch, but that's a good thing, cos the poetry has to be mysterious, with lots of subtexts ;) Awesome write. Alright, take care!:)
| Posted on 2005-01-28 00:00:00 | by Dana | [ Reply to This ]'s okay. I am a religious person so I don't really like the references to Jesus in such a dark way. Other than that it was very vivid. I liked it to an extent. Good work.
| Posted on 2004-11-23 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]

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