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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitled... extremely personaldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: XxMusikJunkiexX
    ASL Info:    18/f/ny
    Elite Ratio:    2.85 - 109/134/39
    Words: 469
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 735
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2880



    Description:
       extremely personal piece in the making... tell me what you think


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitled... extremely personaldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Intro: (spoken)
    I cant breathe here. I cant continue like this. there has got to be a break somewhere. I need a break from the chaos. Iím drowning in this, Iím completely in over my head. somethingís going horribly wrong. I cant do this by myself and yet... I donít think thereís anywhere I can turnÖ there's pressure everywhere. school. home. outside. Iím becoming more and more distanced, I donít speak with my friends much anymore. I donít hang out with them. I donít ask to go out because my parents will just say no. something inside is fading and I donít know how to make it come back... They say time heals all woundsÖ Iím beginning to question the validity of that statementÖ

    Verse:
    He drinks away nights he canít handle
    The alcohol is his kryptonite
    Superman isnít feeling very good today
    And itíll only get worse tonight

    I could never live the way he does
    With happiness just out of reach
    Iíve tried a lot of different tactics
    But I still get no release

    Chorus:
    Youíre moving way to fast, slow down
    I donít wanna fight about this now
    I canít feel anything at all today
    But the memories dwell inside my veins
    Iím falling down, Iím falling down, let me down, easy now

    Verse:
    Iíve heard the stories but I wanna know the truth
    Iíve got a box of photos that I canít look at
    And Iíve got journals gathering dust on my shelf
    Thereís a demon here that I canít catch

    I donít think Iíve ever felt so alone
    I didnít think I could ever feel this alive
    I think that maybe I should be getting home
    But then again, then againÖ

    Chorus x 1

    Bridge:
    Momís crying in the next room over
    Shut the door so I canít hear a thing
    And I cut myself again tonight
    Well what would you do if you were me?
    See, my neighborís beating their only kid
    Heís only five years old
    What does love mean to you
    I donít know, I donít knowÖ

    Chorus x 1

    Verse:
    Hollywood glorified my pain
    ©ed my shadows, I cannot see
    I bled my soul through these words
    But theyíre only interested in turning red to green

    For your entertainment I tear myself wide open
    Sacrificing my tears for some recognition
    I will be your teenage martyr
    Ďcause tragedies the only way youíll listen

    Chorus x 1


    Outro: (spoken over the ending, repeating chorus)
    remember when the walls crash down and the floor is pulled from underneath you. when the whole damn world is obliterated, and you are left to fall within yourself. I can describe that blackness to you if you'd listen. Are you listening?




    Submitted on 2004-11-23 19:26:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I see that you are trying speaking the words to add impact to the piece, well, I'm sorry if it's personal, but that just doesn't work for me. I have this view that rappers "sing" about how screwed up their life is, and I hate rap, so as soon as I saw speaking, I immediately heard rap, which I know is not how this is meant to be read.

    I can't really relate much to the pain, but trust me, suicide isn't really worth it because people will notice you anyway. I like how you used the contrary in this piece though. I'm sure this helped in venting a bit, if it's as personal as you claim it to be.
    | Posted on 2004-11-24 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved your poem you explained it very well I can understand the extream pain your in
    I'am truely sorry I'll say a prayer for you tonight
    | Posted on 2004-11-23 00:00:00 | by littlepoet | [ Reply to This ]


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