Love it! It flows well despite the structure, so kudos. love the first stanza thingy of this poem, it kinda throws you for a loop because of the first three lines indicating some sort of sad poem, but the fourth line changes the feel entirely. all in all, its a very good read!
first i would like to say that i felt the words were very strong. this piece has that ability to captiviate people who have never read poetry. personally i enjoyed reading it and im sure others will. on another note, im a stickler for rhyme thats the only thing i felt it kinda lacked but dont think that the lack of rhyming took away from the power of the words. this is just a personal feedback. really nice work!
great piece. definitely a feeling that most in your age group can relate to. the feeling of immortality, unfortunately, will pass-enjoy it while you can. I love how you describe seeing beauty all around you; too many people are unable to do this, and that's a very sad thing. There's a lot of power here and a lot of emotion. Once again, great write, keep it up. J
So powerful a read. I also liked the way it sounded when I read it aloud. I did the shouting as was proper. What a wonderful feeling if we could all look around and see the beauty in our lives each day.
this poem reminds me of a vampire tale, I love it. I especially love the part "And I see nothing But startling, blinding beauty In laser-cut Diamond-edged clarity" It kind of reminds me of Lestat's view upon the world. Keep me posted on future writtings. Jaymi