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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Rainforest and a Desertdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 43
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1001
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 297



    Description:
       This is rough because I just wrote it. I'll probably edit it, so let me know what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Rainforest and a Desertdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You are responsible
    for more of my tears
    than chopping onions,
    but you can't shed
    one drop for me.
    Love requires weeping
    like plants need rain,
    and now I know
    that a rainforest and a desert
    can't exist side by side.




    Submitted on 2004-11-25 11:59:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      subtle, well structured, nice ending especially love the responsible for more tears than chopping onions bit...very cool visualisation
    | Posted on 2004-12-21 00:00:00 | by undecided | [ Reply to This ]
      "Love requires weeping,
    Like plants need rain."
    I love this, it's so true. Barren deserts do seek out the sacrement of water. It's so unfair, to realize this, and yet how else could love literally be mined from us. I don't presume to wash away the cruelty "You won't shed on tear" is so apt, I 've lived it too. Some of our most powerful teachers are negative, there lessons branded on a loving heart, like a bite an sting. Fact is you deserve better. Hope you don't mind my commenting in this way, it's a very powerful work.
    Hugs and healing, Nan
    | Posted on 2004-11-26 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      No matter how much you cry for it, pray for it, need it, you're not gonna get rain in a desert. It's so funny that we see things in a relationship that scream incompatibility, but we somehow think it will eventually change...but it never will. We can overlook trivial things like leaving the cap off the toothpaste, but something like one needing emotion from the other and not getting it might as well be physical abuse. You're disrespecting yourself by staying. Thanks for making me feel better about myself and my relationship. You've nailed another one my dearest Amy!
    | Posted on 2004-11-26 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
      "Love requires weeping." love that line. speaks a lot of truth.

    short and simple, but to the point. nicely done. i agree that geographically speaking, the rainforest dessert thing might not work but hey, i could be making that up.
    | Posted on 2004-11-26 00:00:00 | by XxMusikJunkiexX | [ Reply to This ]
      there are deserts next to an ocean. so I'm not quite sure if there aren't deserts next to rainforrests. but we decide that rainforrests and deserts can't exist next to each other. cause it's a great image and you made a really good poem around it.
    we could also argue about that line "love requires weeping". cause that is a quite harsh formulation. but anyway it's a good poem and I don't want to change it.
    | Posted on 2004-11-26 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this. Great metaphors! Best lines:

    "You are responsible
    For more of my tears
    Than chopping onions"

    Maybe two people so totally opposite shouldn't be together. Where I have questions is with this line:

    "Love requires weeping"

    Why? Can't two people love and be so happy together that they never shed a tear over one another? Does everyone have to be a rainforest?

    It may be true that deserts are not side by side of rainforests, maybe that's their choice.

    Your poem is colorful but sad, as it hints at their parting. I enjoyed reading it and you write with great ease. This poem pulls you to it's conclusion. I like the rainforest and desert idea, even though it delineates the cause of their separation.

    Phil
    | Posted on 2004-11-25 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]
      
    i like this... the metaphors are wonderful!
    you are the rainforest, right? because you have no control over your tears as a rainforest can't keep out the rain... and he is the desert.. dry and void of those emotions... every once in a while you may see what you think is compassion and real emotion, but it's just a mirage... and then it rains more...
    sorry, i'm fitting this in with my situation now...
    "love requires weeping
    like plants need rain"
    how true is that?! true love leaves you crying.. at least once in a while... it brings out the most intense emotions that exist.. and if this isn't happening than you aren't really in love...
    | Posted on 2004-11-25 00:00:00 | by besodemuerte | [ Reply to This ]
      i've been in a relationship like this, and it just doesn't work. i need to be with someone who can cry and be romantic and sensitive. i like the comparison to the onions! i can't chop them, ever, because i have such a violent reaction. this doesn't sound rough to me. no editing needed, really! Happy Thanksgiving!
    | Posted on 2004-11-25 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this way especially becasue its almost compared to everything. What everyone neeeds to fined is the oasis in the dessert and that is your true happiness, the only place there is peace in a dessert. I dont think it needs really any editing. I would leave it as it is.
    keep it up,
    Kacey
    I hate onions,most of the time
    | Posted on 2004-11-25 00:00:00 | by Lachesis | [ Reply to This ]
      Whoa! This is very well written to be rough around the edges. I personally don't see anything that needs to be changed. I really liked the opening few lines, and that's only because I was chopping onions a few seconds ago! Weird how you do something and then someone mentions or writes about it. I love the concept you were going for. You two can't be together- like a rainforest can't be beside a desert. I really loved the comparisons you made. Great job. :) Happy Thanksgiving!
    -blt
    | Posted on 2004-11-25 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      are you the rainforest.. or the desert in that relationship? its wierd.. because after the second read through, you are the rainforest, because even though you love, you need to be able to cry. Your other.. is stiff to this, shows little or no emotion, and overall incompatable... i really truly thought this was really that good... at first glance tho its deceiving with its ordinary comparisons. im really glad i found this one today.. i realyl dont think much editing is required... its short and gets to the point easily, but captures a short picture in a much larger one of love. Without hate, there is no love, without crying, there is not happiness.. correct me if i was wrong about interpretation but... either way simple yet brilliant
    | Posted on 2004-11-25 00:00:00 | by Josh | [ Reply to This ]
      i guess there won't be any plants if there is no rain. what's amazing is that some people actually survive such ordeals but always get themselves in to bed weary... battered... no kiss, no hug, no sex... just big zZzZzZzZz's why go through with it?

    good job.
    | Posted on 2004-11-27 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]


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