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    dots Submission Name: In Celebration Of The Seasonsdots

    Author: Jimma
    ASL Info:    22/m/Melb Aust
    Elite Ratio:    4.75 - 217/234/54
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 943
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1065

       A bit of a nature based piece. Tell me what you think.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn Celebration Of The Seasonsdots

    Opaline flutes
    Brimming with champagne
    And white flickering candles
    At the table of the rain

    An evening party
    People sparkling on the beach
    The setting sun paints the eve
    Translucent shades of pink

    Dancing and talking
    And smiling every one
    And drinking and singing
    At the table of the sun

    A salmon tint
    On the ribbon of sand
    They raise a toast
    Glasses in hand

    Three cheers to the seasons
    That make the heavens ring
    Shouting loud the high ovation
    At the table of the spring

    The pinpricks become beacons
    As the sun disappears
    Lighting the celebration
    Of the rhythm of the years

    The guests have gathered
    From places near and far
    Celebratory words are heard
    At the table of the stars

    Toasting summer and winter
    And this is the reason
    Toasting autumn and spring
    At a party for the seasons

    Submitted on 2004-11-26 08:32:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      A lyrical poem, gentle and with easy flowing ribbons and perfused with a soft glow of pastel colours. For a poem about the seasons, you obviously live in a very temperate climate. This is like one long early summer garden party, but fun and easy on the mind.
    | Posted on 2005-01-20 00:00:00 | by hanuman | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok! To me this was more an exercise in rhyming than a salute to the seasons. All those words and only passing reference to the actual seasons. Maybe I was expecting something depicting the actual seasons as they can each easily be celebrated.
    Tha rhythm seems to flow well, however you did miss the rhyming in the second stanza.
    | Posted on 2004-11-26 00:00:00 | by arkay | [ Reply to This ]
      i thought that it was good. good word use and rhyming. it was a very tender piece that painted a good picture of nature. i like nature pieces. i think that they have a peaceful quality about them. i liked it. keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-11-26 00:00:00 | by maquiladora | [ Reply to This ]
      I think that the 5th stanza had one too many sylables and makes it kind of hard to read but other than that it is a great piece. I really love how you describe everything, it could truly see the setting. Really good write.
    | Posted on 2004-12-07 00:00:00 | by ashlee_jane2003 | [ Reply to This ]

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