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    dots Submission Name: fallen angeldots

    Author: runaway_poet
    ASL Info:    21/m/limbo
    Elite Ratio:    6.2 - 42/41/21
    Words: 206
    Class/Type: Poetry/The pain inside
    Total Views: 976
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1077

       please ignore the errors

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    dotsfallen angeldots

    the wind of change is bitter cold it whispers secrets that where never told

    but i try to keep my ground and i try to stay bold

    but my wing are torn withered and old

    my one last chance i must have sold so i hit the ground my carsase rold

    my lips go blue my body cold

    and my thoughts gather like blood on the fold

    i tried to be unique and brake the mold.

    so i shed a tear and i filled with fear i never knew my meaning here

    and i tried to stay pure and i tried to be sincere but i bcame worn and broken just like a gear

    im so sad and alone i gained nothing...i should have known

    at opne time it thought i was prone to tha pain

    but realy i was never to gain...exept to go insane

    im covered with wounds my blood burns in my vein the only thing help is the feel of rain

    so this is it this is the end i hope you liked it

    for it time ro me to retreat back to my rechid pit

    Submitted on 2004-11-26 08:43:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I shall go into more detail later but I have run out of time right now. All I can suggest is that you try to shape the scentences better so the poem has a clean flow to it. (I will go into more detail later)
    | Posted on 2005-01-11 00:00:00 | by Force | [ Reply to This ]

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