Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Midday Dreamdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sugar-n-spice
    Elite Ratio:    4.43 - 55/49/8
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 905
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 515



    Description:
       A fantasy or not?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMidday Dreamdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Careful now little one
    don't step on her.
    She's watering the
    lilies one by one.

    With her creamy skin
    glowing in the midday sun
    and soft petals falling in
    the sudden breeze.

    See how she carefully
    bends to pick them up
    before gracefully flying
    past my window.

    I try in vain to follow her
    with my eyes as she dips
    and makes a daring escape
    in the glowing afternoon sun.




    Submitted on 2004-11-26 12:30:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Now how cool is this totally awesome written motherly,sweet innocent poem, colorful,vivid and creative, standing ovation here.

    What makes this poem so great is how you blended the surreal with what we have deep in our hearts as parents. And I am not saying I am a fairy,lol

    You convey the motherly instincts oh so well in
    this poem, The first Stanza is masterful, which makes this simple innocent poem a masterpiece.

    I generally drift toward fantasy type poem, I have been awaken,ty

    After saying all those glorious things, how can I not add this to my fav.
    | Posted on 2004-12-13 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      Well now, what a delightful little poem.

    I might change only the last line (I came up with maybe 10 variations), but I love this poem overall. Anyone who reads my criticisms knows I rarely gush over a piece unless it deserves it and this one paints such a glorious portrait in time that I am adding it to my very short list of favorites.
    | Posted on 2005-03-02 00:00:00 | by Vancrown | [ Reply to This ]
      sounds to me too that you want to be this girl. maybe u want to be this girl because u admire her or shes someone really close to you. or its someone u miss and u want her back so u want to act like her. well as u can see i have the same opinion as Storm.lol. well thats all i have to say. and welcome to elites!
    bren
    | Posted on 2004-11-26 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]
      Heeeyyy! Dreaming a fantasy in the midday sun. , I do it all the time. And the next time you see that faerie, send her home to look after my garden.
    | Posted on 2004-11-26 00:00:00 | by arkay | [ Reply to This ]
      The feeling that comes through is one of wonderment... a strange sensation of entering into a surreal world and watching things evolving through someone else's eyes. This is a wonderful piece of poetry and the words flow very well. Great write.
    | Posted on 2005-01-02 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really pretty. I get the feeling of wanting tobe this fairy too. Perhaps it is your inner child. I love nature poems, so this was up my alley.
    | Posted on 2004-11-28 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      Great first submission. I see a butterfly capturing my attention on a sweet dewy spring day...I follow her until the sun blocks her out. She'll leave me feeling closer to nature, at least until the phone rings, or some other such manmade nuisance interrupts me.

    Enough here to make me look forward to your next submission. Thanks for the image.
    | Posted on 2004-11-28 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?    		7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    34644

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry