Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: You don't do anything rightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 165
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 792
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1079



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou don't do anything rightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You don't do anything right
    what a sight of running of into the woods
    with the knife and the wife
    Afraid a hieghts
    so you don't take that flight
    school waste of time
    rather be commiting a crime
    It is time to tell the truth
    wait you can't
    "You don't do anything right"
    It's true
    father like son
    thats why you hate me
    why i'm your son?
    because you fuck trailer park hoe.
    Have to deal with a ton
    Concluding your son.
    "You don't do anything right"
    some things never makes since
    so step back watch me drop this
    if you want it come get
    you fed up with me
    Well I'm fed up with you
    This why i'm writing this tune
    To show you I don't need you
    "You don't do anything right"
    well people can change
    that why you can do something right
    just say that you be there for me
    I will listen to you




    Submitted on 2004-11-26 19:49:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Just a guess but im guessing you dont like your dad. Yeah I dont like my dad at all either. Me moved to florida when I was about 7 and he calls me about once or twice a year and tries to be a part of my life. Well keep writing. Again try not to put stuff in here that has nothing to do with the song or rap. Keep writing though.
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by FeelingAlive | [ Reply to This ]
      Just a guess but im guessing you dont like your dad. Yeah I dont like my dad at all either. Me moved to florida when I was about 7 and he calls me about once or twice a year and tries to be a part of my life. Well keep writing. Again try not to put stuff in here that has nothing to do with the song or rap. Keep writing though.
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by FeelingAlive | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    34712

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    One Day written by WriteSomething
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Push written by JanePlane
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry