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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Balancedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 25
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 815
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 176



    Description:
       I'm not sure about this one, so let me know what you think. I won't be hurt. I've been writing a lot the past few days, but it all seems like "huh?" sort of stuff.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Balancedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The earth and my infinitesimal, invisible soul,
    freshly and painfully separated from my body,
    rest on a balance scale;
    it inexplicably tips my way.




    Submitted on 2004-11-28 03:24:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hey nice leopard by the way... is it your pet??? and for your piece... it has some potential but the shortness of which lacks the purpose of its meaning... maybe you would like to elaborate or add more fillers... but the essence is damn good... i guess! kudos... STPN
    | Posted on 2004-11-28 00:00:00 | by Mer_de_Noms | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm, thought-provoking. I wouldn't add more cause then you would give your readers a meaing and they won't think about it anymore. I like the way it is and that it asks me to think and make my own interpretation. the second line is great. well done.
    | Posted on 2004-11-28 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      You've written a conundrum here, and I think I'll come back and look for several days, just to see how many slides I can view. Right now, I'm thinking of soul escaping a reality that's been uglied up for no reason. That taking a little soar into the atomosphere, as long as one has both flying and landing lessons, never hurts, because the balance comes back as we take time to remember who we are. Beautiful mind, lady.
    Hugs, nan
    | Posted on 2004-11-28 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      I'll lighten your soul. If I can't, I'll get all my buddies to jump together and make the earth heavier. Another memorable piece. x
    | Posted on 2004-11-30 00:00:00 | by buttsee | [ Reply to This ]
      Amy, This one is fairly good but leave the reader to wonder if the earth will roll off and crush the soul or whether is a boon of good luck. I hope it was the latter of the two. I always find it wonderful that you leave so many little blanks for the reader to ponder and fill for himself. I think it's why your writes are so popular (although I'm sure the length doesnt hurt either ..lol). Actually I think it's quite hard to pack more into something so short. Well done despite your doubts.
    jan
    | Posted on 2004-12-02 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it, except the last line seems to be a bit off in relation to the rest of the poem. You might want to tweak some of the words in that one. Otherwise, I like the vision and emotion behind this. Nice work.

    -emo.
    | Posted on 2004-12-05 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]


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