Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Balancedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 25
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 844
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 176



    Description:
       I'm not sure about this one, so let me know what you think. I won't be hurt. I've been writing a lot the past few days, but it all seems like "huh?" sort of stuff.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Balancedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The earth and my infinitesimal, invisible soul,
    freshly and painfully separated from my body,
    rest on a balance scale;
    it inexplicably tips my way.




    Submitted on 2004-11-28 03:24:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hey nice leopard by the way... is it your pet??? and for your piece... it has some potential but the shortness of which lacks the purpose of its meaning... maybe you would like to elaborate or add more fillers... but the essence is damn good... i guess! kudos... STPN
    | Posted on 2004-11-28 00:00:00 | by Mer_de_Noms | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm, thought-provoking. I wouldn't add more cause then you would give your readers a meaing and they won't think about it anymore. I like the way it is and that it asks me to think and make my own interpretation. the second line is great. well done.
    | Posted on 2004-11-28 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      You've written a conundrum here, and I think I'll come back and look for several days, just to see how many slides I can view. Right now, I'm thinking of soul escaping a reality that's been uglied up for no reason. That taking a little soar into the atomosphere, as long as one has both flying and landing lessons, never hurts, because the balance comes back as we take time to remember who we are. Beautiful mind, lady.
    Hugs, nan
    | Posted on 2004-11-28 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      I'll lighten your soul. If I can't, I'll get all my buddies to jump together and make the earth heavier. Another memorable piece. x
    | Posted on 2004-11-30 00:00:00 | by buttsee | [ Reply to This ]
      Amy, This one is fairly good but leave the reader to wonder if the earth will roll off and crush the soul or whether is a boon of good luck. I hope it was the latter of the two. I always find it wonderful that you leave so many little blanks for the reader to ponder and fill for himself. I think it's why your writes are so popular (although I'm sure the length doesnt hurt either ..lol). Actually I think it's quite hard to pack more into something so short. Well done despite your doubts.
    jan
    | Posted on 2004-12-02 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it, except the last line seems to be a bit off in relation to the rest of the poem. You might want to tweak some of the words in that one. Otherwise, I like the vision and emotion behind this. Nice work.

    -emo.
    | Posted on 2004-12-05 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    34894

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ME written by jjd
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Stretto written by saartha
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry