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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Daddy [2]dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kalidoscopeeyes
    ASL Info:    18/f
    Elite Ratio:    3.64 - 122/151/29
    Words: 53
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 956
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 410



    Description:
       This really doesn't have a title...


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    dotsDaddy [2]dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I can't remember
    The last time
    He was sober,
    The last time
    I felt safe.
    Everything,
    his smell,
    his slur,
    even the thought of him,
    repulses me.
    It's revolting.
    Slowly,
    like a cancer,
    he's infecting my lungs
    (casually, with a cigarette
    stuck to his lower lip),
    Invading my words...




    Submitted on 2004-11-28 15:07:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      my dad is a drunk and a chain smoker. had i not known this was about yours i would have thought it a piece that i had writen about mine. i hate him. loath him. and even manage to still love him. every time he is in the damn hospital for this that or the other i am always the first person to wanna go see him. damnit. the piece is good though. PS
    | Posted on 2004-11-28 00:00:00 | by Printer Shock | [ Reply to This ]
      this is truly a sad piece of writing... i grew up with an alcoholic mother, but she was nowhere near this bad. alcoholism is so pervasive and affects so many people and families. perhaps he'll get help some day.

    the last line, though, didn't really fit. perhaps it should be "Invading my world..."?
    | Posted on 2004-11-28 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      good piece of writing. I love the image of himinfecting you casually. My girlfriend's(juliets_dagger's) father is the same way, and we both hate him. I'm sorry for the crap that you have to go through...keep going, you will overcome.

    In His service,
    shuford
    | Posted on 2004-11-28 00:00:00 | by littleshuford | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm...how to comment on something that hit close to home for me.? Well I will say this you got the image of what it's like to be the child of a drunk.
    | Posted on 2004-11-28 00:00:00 | by armand | [ Reply to This ]
      oh my...painful and yes, gets the word across simply. very neat little write that expresses the mess of being a child of a drunk...wow. just, wow
    ~!~luvs, catie
    | Posted on 2004-11-28 00:00:00 | by Catie O Daniels | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah, my dad is a drunk too, but he's a jerk sober. I'm sorry you feel this way though. Maybe things will get better. I got a teeny bit closer to my dad when he thought he had cancer. He cried instead of making me cry. I liked the bit about the cigarette; it was ironic. I don't think I'd end it with an ellipsis, but that's your call.
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]


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