Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Loritabdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 177
    Class/Type: Poetry/Mirror or Mask
    Total Views: 1789
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1132



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLoritabdots
    -------------------------------------------


    she's got loritab in her veins
    she's to hurt to hate
    she pushes pain away
    and fills up on moriphine again

    sadness is too easy
    feeling sympathy is out of date

    her blood is poison
    at least that's what she hears
    she's full of reason
    at least that's what she fears

    sadness is to easy
    feeling scared is confused

    she fills up on pills, pot and beer
    she only likes to taste the weed
    the rest jut drowns shit out
    and she is too sick of speed

    but her happy little pills won't keep her up all night
    she has to come down
    so she pretends she's alright

    with a bag filled with pencils and paper
    moriphine and a guitar
    Marley and Cobain in her Cd player
    its all she needs to fill her heart

    you watch her leave and wave goodbye
    you shake your head in distaste
    you cannot help but wonder why
    this girl has become such a waste









    Submitted on 2004-11-28 17:46:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Seems like this girl has made a transformation- which is excellent.
    | Posted on 2015-08-27 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      with a bag filled with pencils and paper
    moriphine and a guitar
    Marley and Cobain in her Cd player
    its all she needs to fill her heart

    This is my favorite part of this poem...I think of you, packing your bags in Tennessee, to come spend the night with me or Aunt Deana. I almost miss that summer. I was still all sad, but I had you and Jessie, and at that point, I think in a way, I still had Tony...It makes my stomach feel funny...
    | Posted on 2006-06-13 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a very beautiful m poem / i brings a lot of imagies to my head ( a great poem is good at doing that). i love the whole medical theme to the poem. this is going on my fav list.

    my fav line is: sadness is too easy
    feeling sympathy is out of date

    janus
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by J W I | [ Reply to This ]
      this one almost made me cry for some weird f-u-c-i-n-g reason. goddamn you. what did you put in this? it seems so silly and stupid but then it blows your mind. whatever it was - it was good.
    | Posted on 2005-03-17 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      whats up girl?...lol...but for real, this is a sad poem...and i am telling you that you have not become a waste at all...i think it is funny that everyone doesn't know what that girl is, but i do..and i still blame myself for hurting you...but yeah the poem was really [censored]in awesome...i liked it...well talk to ya l8r i guess..by jazz..
    | Posted on 2004-12-13 00:00:00 | by medicated | [ Reply to This ]
      pain is easy to give into I don't know I grieve a little each day when it will be my mother inlaws
    last day she is very ill I can empathize
    but I loved your poem keep up the good work and keep writing
    | Posted on 2004-11-28 00:00:00 | by littlepoet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    34975

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Dream written by closetpoet
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry