This is a potentially powerful piece. I can feel the difference that went through your mind but there is something a little disjointed in your wording. I do like the premise of the idea and the way it was short. Keep working at it.
oooo... all i can see is foto's superimposed over eachother... ya know...? like i can almost see the two of you fighting with the eclipse shot in the back ground... i know thats not what you are necessarily trying to achieve but thats what i see in my head as i read this... i dont have a camera with a shutter speed thingee (whch for me is prolly a good thing else id never get decent foto's coz id keep doing what youve done here and forget to change it...) but yeah... this is a really cool visually effective write!
Im lost in your words, maybe it could mean, while we may fight, we're all of one species, we shud stick together? birds of a feather flock together???kinda thing...yah noe...but with your spine being the border, that could imply you on the ground...which would mean the fight is over you...and it is said that when men fight over girls, they become like children...explaining line 3. well i guess theres alota meaning in this poem, im moved inside, and i hope to read more from you, ttyl Shane