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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Being tireddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: shabnam
    ASL Info:    23 f Germany
    Elite Ratio:    4.35 - 322/248/45
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 311
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 537



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBeing tireddots
    -------------------------------------------





    I am tired of this vain journey
    Longing for the limitless eternity
    Searching authentic identification and name
    Defeated by this malicious game

    I am tired of this vile street
    Looking for the unseen person, whom I never meet
    Beaten by hated dears
    Forced to cry with frozen tears

    I am tired of this go round
    Where I am tide by an unusual bond
    Sick of myself and the humanity
    Lost the being war from the enemy




    Submitted on 2004-11-29 08:30:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I disagree with your last comment recieved. I immediately got a sense of pain and depression before I noticed that you had picked the type of this piece to be Depressed.

    This line really got that image and feeling of pain and despair across,

    "Forced to cry with frozen tears"

    Then again, for all I know, you could've changed this piece a while ago...

    Sam:)
    | Posted on 2007-01-16 00:00:00 | by Falling Rain | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree that you should try to use words that do not really hide what you are trying to say so much. because if you would have not told us that this is a poem about depression it would have take a long time for me to really find the meaning behing the whole thing. Well either way I liked this piece. Keep up the good work and I will keep reading.
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by FeelingAlive | [ Reply to This ]



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