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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tired of Making Sensedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 52
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 804
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 310



    Description:
       Sense makes nothing or something like that.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTired of Making Sensedots
    -------------------------------------------


    She was tired of making sense:
    she'd been churning it out for 20 years in a factory.
    She was sick of the bitter taste it left upon her tongue,
    bored of moving the heavy barrels it filled,
    but now she was happy,
    she'd found a job painting shadows on the night shift.




    Submitted on 2004-11-29 10:46:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Painting shadows, I wanna try. I must agree with ANGELO tho, sometimes you gotta decide between what makes sense or what you want. Its easy to choose what you want but hell its also pointless to work when you dont want to do what your doing. But hey this is just from a teenagers point of view, i still dont got a fvcking job
    | Posted on 2005-01-08 00:00:00 | by Di Re Rakord | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm ready to paint some shadows myself. Nice work again Amy. The insomnia has caught up with me completely so I'm really enjoying this one. My mind is so damn scattered. I need a nap. I've been grasping at this feeling for 48 hours now, and you've captured it perfectly here. Funny how you can give up on trying so hard to make something important and lo and behold, there it sits! So rich in irony...
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
      this is really an original kind of poem that detailed an unusual subject.i thought of the old talking head's album called "stop making sense" and wondered if they had anything similar to say as i have never listened to that record.you have done a great job with a minimum of words.good luck and fare well.
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by sickly | [ Reply to This ]
      i love the idea of painting shadows, i don't know if it was trying to be ironic, i rather think that a tired, fatigued voice speaks throughout the poem. "bored of moving heavy barrels" carrys the lengthy heavy words. cleverly done. ellisa
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by ellisa | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice! "painting shadows on the night shift" sounds like a death omen. Is that your intent? Or is this meant just as a darker persona? I love the boredom of "making sense" portrayed as a "factory" job with a "bitter taste". I think we've all felt this way at times and wish there were more ways of being expressive. A nice write! I liked it.

    Phil
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this and I will tell you why. it makes me think that people spend to much time justifying their actions in life. Why should I have to explain why I like the things I fancy or do the things I do? It's like the few poems I've written that I have blantenly stated I dunno where they come from in my description and then I get hounded for more info behind the piece...Wtf? you know what I mean. Why are we inspired to write the things we do...who knows? I sure as hell don't but I shouldn't need to have the reasons behind it. This was another excellent write!-John
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by Mithrandir | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh yeah, I'd like to get those barrels out of my life, logic demands more needless elaboration than I like. And then she takes a job where the unknown is her
    quest, just to paint shadows, and I know the depth of darkness is filled with possiblities, that's where art in its purest form lies. I always enjoy the way you translate a concept, even though I may not be close to your intention. Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      sometimes we're all tired of making sense. especially writers.
    "why did you write this poem??"- "I don't know I just wrote it."
    but it's interesting that the positive thing (getting rid of this need to make sense, those heavy barrels) is described so negative. why did you choose "painting shadows" and "night shift"? some hidden purpose behind that??
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is just so interesting. Painting shadows on the night shift to escape making sense. I think you should be a childrens book writer, and make a book with these interesting things. You could be the female version of Dr. Seus! :) Great piece. It really made sense. Or did it? . . . . LOL Great job.
    -blt
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      My shadow is always running away- I’ma have to sew it on grood… I need a Wendy… Or more booze- at any rate- thys was very kewl. I lyke the thought of it all. Picturing a huge factory reminiscent of something from Brazil and the mind of American pythons…… wait- what? Anyway, nice work - short and strong… Peace, love and hands on the Bible- ~#6-
    | Posted on 2004-11-30 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      i love the last line about painting shadows! cool! yeah, sometimes making sense gets tiring, 'specially when there are so many people 'round who just don't get it. there are a lot of clueless people around...and i think you know what i mean! i like this!
    | Posted on 2004-11-30 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      one of life's greatest questions... WHY? we're always faced with a choice on whether we'd rather do the logical thing... a job that pays... or the ones that we are emotionally attached to... and only pays our soul.

    good job.
    | Posted on 2004-12-01 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      -"Painting Shadows o the Night Shift" is a freaking BRILLIANT idea-OMG I have to sleep on this one. Right now I am going to watch T,V.- the documentary on Saloman Rushdie-oh oh gotta go-
    | Posted on 2004-12-02 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the last line. I didn't really get the rest of the poem until then, but the last line just brings it all together. This is a little more cryptic than your other works, which is good. Awesome job.

    -emo.
    | Posted on 2004-12-05 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]


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