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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Placebodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: deadndreaming
    Elite Ratio:    6.75 - 1360/1263/81
    Words: 104
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1377
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 863



    Description:
       DISCLAIMER: If you're one who prefers leaving it to the imagination, skip this intro!

    Okay. First time around I left this to the imagination, but I feel wrong about the condolences and such, since I never met the girl. This poem is simply my way of dealing with a disturbing story I read in the paper about a 19 year-old student at Colorado State. She went on an 11 hour drinking binge with friends that resulted in her death. When her friends laid her down she was unable to talk, could only blink and nod. Doctors later said that she was probably slipping into a coma. When she was discovered by another student the next day her knees were on the ground, her face resting on a foam cushion, arms outstretched to each side. Her blood/alcohol level was 0.436, over 5 times the legal driving limit. The coroner said it was likely much higher when her friends left her, but that she probably could've been saved at that time. Estimates had her consuming over 30 drinks. Back in Nebraska she had been an honor student, head cheerleader, class president and homecoming queen. Friends said she had always longed to leave the small town of Beatrice, where she grew up, in search of...in search of what? That's what struck me. What was this seemingly perfect young lady looking for?

    For those of you who don't know, a placebo is a false medicine, given to comfort someone ailing. It fools them into thinking they're on their way to recovery.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPlacebodots
    -------------------------------------------


    For Samantha Spady (1985-2004)

    Eleven hours
    beer and tequila shots
    vanilla vodka
    straight from the bottle
    Colorado rain
    tried hard
    to dilute your blood
    of this poison

    In Beatrice
    remembrances
    of a class president
    homecoming queen
    your cheers hushed
    by this act
    of parricide
    of the soul

    Eleven hours
    a swill of time
    to drown out
    nineteen years
    of staggering dreams
    unmet longing
    empty promise
    in a supersize cup

    In Fort Collins
    the party rages
    as if forgetting
    your blinking eyes
    the black light
    of the tatty room
    where you last laid
    your healed head





    Submitted on 2004-11-29 12:07:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Man the outside world provides us with too many things to write about. All you gotta do is flip on the news, open the paper, or take a 2 minute stroll outside. So much to soak up. I too have used this method to locate my muse. Unfortunate for this poor girl. I have lost many friends to all sorts of different endings, all of which were just as tragic as I'm sure any conclusion is. This piece took me back to my heavy years. My heavy partying,drinkin,fightin,fuccin,etc. Though I have lost many I am surprised that the ones who survived are actually still here and that offers some condolence,not much but some. Anyway...thanks for the submission. It was a good read. I've been thumbin through some of your work and I am impressed. No wonder so many people have read your stuff. I'll pop by from time to time to peep out some more.

    Take care
    6
    | Posted on 2006-12-28 00:00:00 | by fryte | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the title...so thought-provoking after the read...what we think is good for us, what we think will help hardly ever does...was she trying to cure herself in the first place, with school achivements, with acedemic success and popularity amongst fellow students? And then, when that was gone, she had nothing to hold on to...so she reached for the nearest thing....

    Its very frightening, because it made me think of people who have no inner core....no stem of strength they can rely on when issues get the best of them...and they grasp and gasp....like a drowning person, splattering and attempting to hold on to anything, in the hopes of relief...So sad that people fail to find support within themselves or those around them...becoming a placebo themselves...

    This is incredible...a tale of loss, in every sense of the word

    Katia
    | Posted on 2005-05-28 00:00:00 | by Katia | [ Reply to This ]
      You know since I was a kid I heard a similar story of some guys that went out drinking and dropped their buddy passed out on his porch, where his family found him dead the next morning. He too, could have been saved. Friends always think, "oh, let him/her sleep it off" but those aren't true friends. A good poem David, and as a public service message, it has a nice sentiment. Way to raise public awareness of a thing that happens far more often than anyone suspects.

    Watch your friends! Take CARE of them!
    | Posted on 2005-06-01 00:00:00 | by Vancrown | [ Reply to This ]
      oh the days of college youth...

    i read your intro and i must say that i know a little of that life...i too was a cheerleader, honor roll student, i did school plays and was in the homecoming court...BUT life happens...and it sometimes requires a need to forget. i have been guilty of the crime of needing to forget some really bad suff.

    you never know with this young lady, it could have been hazing, it could have been peer pressure, a lack of good friends that care, or even the need to break out of who she once was...none of whys matter in the end, but it does give others a chance to see the sadness of possibilities.

    this is a different kind of piece for you and i am impressed, and wowed...you dont seem to live soley in yourself and can find inspiration in so many places. Its rare that one can selflessly say i care about what happend...just because i do.

    -Nikki
    | Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by stolie77 | [ Reply to This ]
      I left everything to the imagination, then read your description.
    and really, I think you said everything in the piece that was in the description.
    I think its rather impressive that your empathy for the situation shone so strongly in your words, being that you only read of it in the paper.
    I think placebo is the perfect title; so many people 'find' a cure that isnt a cure at all, just an effective delusion.
    Its sad that some have to pay the ultimate price to learn the lesson.
    A well-thought out and put-together write.
    Well done. :)
    | Posted on 2005-03-18 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      I like how you basically talk about how we all try to self-medicate. I know some people that have had alcohol poisoning before, and it was really scary having to take them to the hospital and waiting to findout if they're okay. I hate how most people try to cure their pain with drugs, booze, etc. I've been there and took a long time to realize that it doesn't work. Good job dude.
    | Posted on 2005-02-03 00:00:00 | by shmuzzelle | [ Reply to This ]
      There is nothing to say because you have said it all. I am so impressed. It is pathetic that we see only the exteriors of those around us, and ignore the pain lurking below the surface.
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by greensnake | [ Reply to This ]
      it certainly affected you in a very serious way.that is,the passing of your friend.you honoured her very well with your poem and there is no fault that can be found there.good luck and fare well.
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by sickly | [ Reply to This ]
      I remember well those days of stark indecision and wondering if I would become "someone". This has that notion written all over its words, how we dare escape
    because it's everyone's behavior to act this way in college. It's like we haven't found a way to be honest with ourselves or others yet. Maybe, just with a best friend, but we're essentially, morbidly scared of life.
    But there's an awful taste of reality in the death of your friend, and the sorrow you felt for her at the time
    comes through very sweetly. My condolences of course. The last verse is my favorite.
    Thanks for sharing.
    peace, nansofast
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      This reminds me an uncle of mine who drank himself to death. He was such an alcoholic that he'd drink Lysterine to tide him over until the liquor stores opened. I wonder if she did all of this just to impress those sick baffoons called her "friends." The sad thing is that it doesn't change anything. Kids are still going to binge drink and die. I hope that at least one person got wise though. Then her death wouldn't have been in vain.
    | Posted on 2004-11-30 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      This is so sad. It's so tragic to see people die when they think they're "just having a good time." I know I've been close. I know that people dont think of the consequences of drinking. They do it to escape from life for a while, but unfortunately leave the living all together.
    I could really relate to this piece. Its sad because this could happen to people I know, the age category fits, binge drinking, going to bars, you know how it is.
    Maybe if they read something like this, it would finally click.
    Good work.
    -Andrya
    | Posted on 2004-11-30 00:00:00 | by andrya | [ Reply to This ]
      The title tells a lot of your personal feelings.
    Placebo, just the inert fake that is supposed to stand in for the real thing. Alcohol, drugs, mindless sex, all placebos really.

    I only saw one line I would edit for what I think is simply grammar,


    your cheers hushed
    by this act
    of parricide
    of the soul

    or

    your cheers hushed
    by this act,
    parricide
    of the soul.

    I think the partial stop and losing the "of" emphasizes that she killed her soul, not her parents.

    This feels very personal, I'm sure it is. If not then you are pretty good at writing this kind of work.
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-12-02 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      I read your intro after. I already thought that the piece was spelled out; not spoonfed, but clear. My senior year in high school I left my friend with 4 fifths and 1/4 oz of weed to pick up an ex girl frind and shuttle her away from so domestic violence; every night was a drug induced haze back then; this was to be the same. I returned and 3&1/2 a fifth; not going to do the math, was consumed between three people. I stole the last of peppermint snaps and slamed it. Anyway long story...My best friend stopped breathing, I brought him back and made him throw up. He had alcohol poisoning and threw up for a good three days, but he lived. he hasn't touched liquer since. I think the problem is that the feeling of imortality meets a reality quite different. Nothing I would change. Great write! peace
    | Posted on 2004-12-02 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]
      I can tell that you really feel strongly about what happened. So I'm glad you wrote about it. As a still-young-enough person, it worries me the way young people go on drinking binges and things. I got a bit overloaded a while back, totally by accident, and it wuz the worst thing I have ever done. Started off not thinking, just doing rum shots and then I don't really remember a whole lot after that. Passed out and everybody thought I wuz gonna die; I didn't, and I'm glad they were all there to take care of me... since this girl didn't seem to have anyone worried about her. I think it's important to know your limit and stop before you get to it. Now I know that doing shots is just plain stupid cuz once you get started, you're so messed up you don't know that you should stop. I wuz the pourer and I don't remember pouring after 3, we did at least 6, I don't think I'll ever know how much I actually drank that nite and I'm a really really tiny person so it messed me up bad quick and now I have a fear of alcohol and have vowed to myself to only drink with family, cuz I know it won't get crazy that way. Anywho, I'm glad you wrote this poem, it's a very important subject. Sorry I rambled
    | Posted on 2004-12-05 00:00:00 | by WaxingPoetic | [ Reply to This ]
      "unmet longing
    empty promise
    in a supersize cup"
    That line rocks hard! Alcohol...oh we've all done it...and wonder why in the morning...but to this extent? Girl was highly unlucky. How many times have I been over the toilet...purging my sins...and promising myself never to do it againg...oh, I can't count...The girl wanted a break. A vacation. Some relief...to forget...and she was killed by it. The party won't stop...until human kind is enlightened beyond conflict...till then, these people will continue to die in search of escape.

    This was a very heartfelt and sad piece. It feels as if you are trying to make sense of the situation...as if you want to say "stop the maddness! We're killing our children!"...but I feel how you know it's futile...drugs and drink won't die...the "war" on drugs was lost at creation...and we are left to feel the pain. Damn sad, we are.
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by marysunshine | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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