A Broken Laughter by amlyn

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Submission Name: A Broken Laughter dots

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Author:	amlyn
ASL Info:	23/F/IN
Elite Ratio:	4.42 - 48/37/9
Words:	112

Class/Type:	Poetry/Friendship
Total Views:	354
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	688

Description:
One of the greatest people I have ever known and care about deeply, is the reason for this writing. He and I are no longer speaking and it is one of the worst times I have had in my life. He is the reason I began writing again and I hope, one day, he will read this and know exactly what I am feeling.

A Broken Laughter dots

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I never thought I'd live the day
That our friendship be ruined, let slip away
An emptiness now fills my heart
The laughter, the love, torn apart
My angry words, wrote instead of spoken
You, angry, decide the tie to be broken
You spoke your mind and you let us go
Ordered me silent without wanting to know
My words, twisted, thrown back in my face
You turned your back, let go, in angry haste
Your words, harsh, tore straight through me
A friendship severed; its pain never before did I see
I am lost now, in darkness, longing for times past
This agony and sorrow, I hope will not forever last

Submitted on 2004-11-29 12:21:24 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
  THe pain in this is unmistakable and I am so sorry for you, but I am still going to comment on the poem. Your last five lines are not as good as those tha preced them. Tighten them up a little.
| Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by greensnake | [ Reply to This ]
  you can really feel what you are going through an feeling through this. I'm sure almost everyone goes through something like this in a lifetime and you really pictured it well.
| Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by grinninggashes | [ Reply to This ]
  I am sorry for your loss of a great friend. Some friendships mend, others do not. If he is really the great person you say he is, I hope he comes around and sees that you still think he is a great person and want to be friends. The poem itself was good, it was very clear to me what was going on and how you feel, and I liked that about it.
| Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]
  The flow of this poem was beautiful and it rhymes quite nicely. I could easily understand your pain over a lost friendship. This is a very good write.
| Posted on 2004-11-30 00:00:00 | by oixi | [ Reply to This ]
  First of all I have had this happen so many times since high school and during high school. I am so sorry that you've had to go through this. The pain is so great knowing that they're still there, you just cannot speak to them. You conveyed this strongly. And, with so much emotion that it brought a tear to my eye with memories. I enjoyed reading. Thanks for reading my comment!
~BCute
| Posted on 2004-12-01 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]

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